Weekend Warriors (1986)

Bert Convy directed one movie. This is it.

The rest of the world doesn’t remember it. I’d like to celebrate it for you, as it’s a monument to the late night cable stupidity that I spend a good chunk of my teen years on. Who am I lying to? I’ve spent a good portion of my life watching movies like this.

When TV Guide reviewed this movie, they said, “Honestly, there isn’t one moment in this alleged comedy that anyone over the age of seven would find even remotely funny.”

When I reviewed this movie, I stood on my couch and screamed, “I love Vic Tayback!” like some kind of imbecile.

Also known as Hollywood Air Force, this film is all about the adventures of Hollywood actors, stuntmen and writers who have been drafted into military service during the Cuban Missile Crisis.

After getting in trouble, they must pass an inspection or be sent to actual military service. Led by Vince Tucker (Chris Lemmon), they use movie magic to appear that they look like they know what they’re doing.

In addition to the beloved Tayback, Lloyd Bridges, Matt McCoy (Sgt. Nick Lassard, of course), Tom Villard from We Got It Made and Deep Roy — yes, Fellini from Flash Gordon — all appear.

If you’re the kind of TV junkie who would get excited when E.Z. Taylor from the Three’s Company spin-off Three’s A Crowd shows up, much less also know that he was Kevin in The Final Terror, then this is a movie that you should come over to watch with me after this pandemic ends. Or maybe we’ll just watch it over the internet.

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