Star Games (1998)

You have to love this description: “A young space prince on the run from an evil space villain, stranded on Earth and waiting for his grandfather the king to rescue him, befriends an Earth child named Brian and together they evade robots, bears, and triangles.”

Let’s get this one going. I mean, you could be like everyone else watching every Star Wars over and over again, complaining about the stuff that hasn’t been fixed since the 1990’s or you could watch a Greydon Clark movie with his two sons in it (he shows up as well). And oh yeah — his wife Jacqueline Cole is in it, too.

This is the last film that Greydon Clark would direct. You can always go back and enjoy The Uninvited — a movie where George Kennedy is killed by a mutated a house cat — as well as Without WarningWacko, Satan’s CheerleadersThe Return, and Joysticks. This is the time in my life where I sit back and say, “I have wasted my life by watching so many of these.”

Somehow, Clark was able to get Tony Curtis in this movie as King Fendel. I can’t even guess as to why or what they did to make this happen. I’m sorry, Mr. Curtis. Is this the worst role of your career? Well, you were in Sexette and The Manitou, after all.

There are no droids. There are no lightsabres (Curtis has what appears to be a crystal envelope opener). There is no Force. But there is a bear. And you know who saves the kids from that bear? Darby Hinton. Yes, the very same Malibu Express star Darby Hinton. The man has gone from making sweet love to Sybil Danning to being in a Greydon Clark children’s film.

Now I’m depressed.

You can watch this on Amazon Prime. Or, and I’d really recommend this, watch it with Rifftrax on Amazon Prime and Tubi.

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