Hundra (1983)

Who has had a crazier life than Matt Cimber? Born Thomas Vitale Ottavian, he met his first wife Jayne Mansfield when he directed her on Broadway in Bus Stop. Just think about how his other two wives felt, competing with Jayne Mansfield. Come on.

He’s directed everything from Mansfield’s last movie Single Room Furnished to The Sexually Liberated Female, a cycle of three Blaxploitation films (The Black Six, which featured six currently playing football stars in Gene Washington, a San Francisco 49er Gene Washington, Pittsburgh Steeler Joe Greene,  Miami Dolphins’ running back Mercury Morris, Detroit Lions cornerback Lem Barney, Kansas City Chiefs linebacker Willie Lanier and Minnesota Vikings defense end Carl Eller;  as well as Lady Cocoa and the Candy Tangerine Man), The Witch Who Came from the Sea and two Pia Zadora films, Fake-Out and Butterfly. He also created and directed the original Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling TV show (he’s played by Marc Maron and named Sam Sylvia in the Netflix series).

Today, we’re here to discuss Hundra, one of the two films he made with Laurene Landon (the other is Yellow Hair and the Fortress of Gold). 

Hundra is the only youngster in her tribe of Amazons who hasn’t been with a man and she has no problem letting the other ladies know. Sadly, every member of her tribe soon gets killed by barbarians and the old wise woman wants her to have kids rather than get revenge. And that means she needs a baby daddy.

One dude has bad manners and tries to kill her. Another is a thief who only wants to kill her. The other is a gay pimp. Finally, she meets a healer, but other ladies have to teach her how to seduce him. Obviously, they teach her well, because she’s soon with child until a sorcerer takes her baby and forces her into a humiliating ritual, but she soon escapes and takes everyone out.

Luckily, as the narrator tells us, the spirit of Hundra lives within women from then until now. Also, somehow, someway, Ennio Morricone was conned into doing the soundtrack for this film, which is way under his legendary talent.

Star Laurene Landon also shows up in the recently released Terror Tales, as well as The StuffIt’s Alive III: Island of the AliveManiac Cop, Wicked Stepmother and many others. She’s the best part of this movie, totally devoted to the action sequences and doing every stunt except for one fall off a 180-foot building.

You can watch this on Amazon Prime.

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