Spider Baby, or The Maddest Story Ever Told (2024)

Remaking Spider Baby seems to be a thankless task, but it’s one that Dustin Ferguson and crew have taken on.

If you haven’t seen the original, the Merrye family has been cursed with a disease called Merrye Syndrome, which only affects members of their family, hence the name, and causes them to regress down the evolutionary ladder as they grow older. They’re protected by their butler, Bruno, who realizes that he can’t control them for long.

Here, Bruno is played by Noel Jason Scott; the Spider Baby herself, Virginia, is played by Skylar Fast; Ralph, the role that Sid Haig essayed, is played by Cody J. Briscoe, and Elizabeth is played by Emma Keifer. Much like the inspiration, the family is being challenged by relatives who want the home and the estate. What they don’t realize is how dangerous the family can be, including the ones who have regressed into lunacy and cannibalism in the basement.

This has some meta-casting in it, as Beverly Washburn, who played Elizabeth in the original Spider Baby, plays a new character, Meredith. While Ron Chaney, the grandson of another star of the original, Lon Chaney Jr., plays Dr. Skinner. There’s also an opening that introduces a new character, Theresa Merrye, played by Brinke Stevens.

Ferguson has said that he wanted to make this movie because the first one inspired The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and House of 1000 Corpses. In fact, the chance to make a movie like Rob Zombie’s is why he directed this. Spider Baby leans into that Rob Zombie feel, as the credits and theme song sound quite like the singer’s work. In fact, Robert Mukes from that film plays The Storyteller in this version.

I had a few issues with this, as the CGI spider isn’t as fun as the original, the film feels way too yellow, and the credits often have basic typewriter font in black over black images, obscuring the names of the cast and crew. This is probably the best-looking movie of the 140+ that Ferguson has done, and it looks like he applied himself on this, even if it ends with the requisite seven minutes or longer of credits when what we really want is more of the story.

The cast does a good job in this, but I feel for them, as they’re up against a classic with the kind of cast that rarely assembles for one movie. In fact, remaking this movie at all feels like a bad idea; there’s no way to be compared favorably unless you absolutely outdo or change the original, and even then, you’re fighting an uphill battle.

I get the challenges of microbudget filmmaking, that you only have some talent for a day and that you’re trying to get the most you can out of the meager finances that you can drum together. The thing is, Spider Baby cost $65,000 to make ($605,000 in today’s money) and was in no way considered big budget. Yet it has created a quite rightful cult following because it’s weird in a very earned way. It’s just unsettling enough, and often what it alludes to is much scarier than fake blood or a giant spider. While this is an improvement for Ferguson, I hope that he can learn from it and push himself toward original works that we can appreciate for decades to come.

You can purchase Spider Baby here.

GENREBLAST FILM FESTIVAL: SHORTS BLAST #5 // WAKE UP & BLAST!

An insane and eclectic collection of animation, comedy, music, and whatever else to wake your ass up.

Pile – Born at Night (2025): Directed and written by Joshua Echavarria, this is a video for the song by the Boston band Pile. Stereobar describes their music as a “philosophical exploration of existential nihilism, wrestling with the idea that perhaps there is no ultimate enlightenment or end to human suffering.” This black and white video matches the song so well — nearly a mix of light and dark, softness and noise. I’d never heard this before and came away really liking it.

Froggy Style (2025): This was directed and written by Jonathan Riles and is basically non-stop animation and images of frogs, well, having sex. The frogs are also gay. Such is life. If you’re upset about the frogs being gay, you’re probably Alex Jones.

Purple Patrol (2025): In Jessica Q. Moore’s film, “a vigilante trio summons an otherworldly being to help protect the queer community.” Pinkle (Oliver Herfact), Winkle (Charlie Wo), Dot (Dick (Richard)) and The Dyke (Sapphrodite) are ready to keep people safe from the straights. Great music, great message, and it looks really good along the way.

The Litterbug (2025): Park Ranger Charlie (Lillian Alexander) and her recruit, Casey (Lillian Alexander), track down a serial litterer known as “The Litterbug” (Travers Britt), who turns out to be not a man, but something else. Something horrifying. If anything, this has made me not want to throw any trash out the window of my car ever again. 

Christ Dance (2025): Directed by and starring Taylor Nice, this takes the music of Life Appreciation Renewal and creates a black and white canvas for this noise and sound. I’m sure that someone, somewhere, will be offended.

The Fly Squatter (2025): This movie by Vincent Vinãs claims that the original soundtrack was deleted during the 1980s Sergio Mendes disco craze. Through a mix of low-budget filming, costumes, dubbed dialogue and use of stock footage, this tells the story of a war between humans and flies, a battle that I feel like I’ve been in forever.

Burned Cans for Aluminum Children (2025): “The distant sound of church bells signals the beginning of an apocalypse.” With that description, I’m excited for Robert Kleinschmidt’s film. Good news. If you like to see cute claymational characters blow up real good and suffer in many other ways, this is for you.

Pizza Time Pizza (2024): This movie by Nicholas Thurkettle has pizza that comes to you based on your thoughts and what you want. They know your name. They know what they must know to fulfill their purpose. I was wondering why destiny and quantum theory were coming in with pizza — “the truth can be unsettling, but pizza brings comfort” — but then again, I realize that when I’m high, I want pizza. Actually, I’m not high now, and I still want pizza. This movie gets it; in a world of infinite diversity and complexity, pizza is perfect. I loved this. So much. Seriously, what an ideal short.

The Time Capsule (2025): Four childhood friends reunite to dig up a time capsule after 30 years… and encounter some unexpected visitors. Made by Michael Charron, this made me consider what I would have put in a time capsule in 1995. I would not have placed a Wendy’s Value Meal into it, hoping that it would last that long, but I have seen that fast food hamburgers do take forever to go away. I just had a Double Baconator the other night, and it may be inside me forever, if this movie has given me any insight. Well done.

Tortured Artist (2025): “An aspiring artist struggles with negative self-talk and unfair comparisons with his peers. Can his only fan save him from himself? It’s Art Attack gone very wrong in this crude comedy short.” Hey kids — would you like to see a clown shit all over a canvas for two minutes? Good news! You got it! Sometimes, art can be painful, and this shows us that. It has some great animation, and wow, the sound effects!

VHX (2024): Directed and written by Scott Ampleford and Alisa Stern, this film features a collection of VHS tapes gathering dust on a shelf, wondering why some are picked over others, only for one of them to come back as a zombie. This made me miss the times when all I had were tapes with handwritten labels, bootlegs of movies that were nowhere near 4K, fuzzy blasts of weirdness, mix tapes, utter strangeness that could fall apart at any moment because VHS was so fragile. I loved this!

Alpaca (2024): Filmmaker Sylvia Caminer has taught me that there’s a whole social media just for alpacas. Additionally, you should not feed them chocolate, as it will cause them harm and potentially lead to your own demise. Who knew that I could be terrified now of alpacas? Thanks, Syvia, and your co-writer, Matthew Wilkins! I really loved Fernando Martinez in this, who gets to say things like “Tap in, alpaca fam!” Just a hilarious — if frightening, I mean, there’s an alpaca down the street from me and now I’m eyeing him — movie. 

GENREBLAST FILM FEST: SHORTS BLAST #3 // THE KOLESNIK METHOD

This series of shorts is curated by acclaimed author and filmmaker Samantha Kolesnik, featuring LGBTQ+ and documentary genre shorts.

The Shaver Mystery (2024): This is an examination of the strangest and most controversial episode of sci-fi history: The allegedly “true stories” of writer Richard Shaver’s encounters with evil underground aliens; stories that are collectively known as “The Shaver Mystery.”

Richard Shaver first encountered Lemuria when the tools at a factory where he worked allowed him to hear other people’s thoughts, as well as torture sessions going on beneath the Earth. He quit his job and became homeless for some time, but on the other hand, he may have also had paranoid schizophrenia, and this was all the result of electroshock treatments.

Shaver disappeared for some time, then began writing to the pulp magazine Amazing Stories, claiming to have discovered an ancient language he called Mantong. Editor Ray Palmer (the namesake of DC Comics’ Silver Age version of The Atom) thought that Shaver was onto something.

Shaver then wrote “A Warning to Future Man,” in which he discussed cities within the Earth, populated by the benevolent Teros and the malevolent Deros. Palmer rewrote Shaver’s allegedly accurate account and created the fictional story “I Remember Lemuria!” which appeared in the March 1945 issue of Amazing Stories. That issue instantly sold out, and then something peculiar happened: thousands of letters began appearing saying that they’d had the same experiences as Shaver.

The Shaver Mystery also boasts Fred Crisman amongst its believers. The real-life inspiration for TV’s The Invaders, Crisman is a conspiracy nexus: he was supposedly one of the three hoboes in Dallas during Kennedy’s assassination, one of the first people in the U.S. to report a UFO and he battled the Demos in a cave during World War 2.

Amazing Stories‘ readership either loved or hated the Shaver stories. According to Wikipedia, “Palmer would later claim the magazine was pressured by sinister outside forces to make the change: science fiction fans would credit their boycott and letter-writing campaigns for the change. The magazine’s owners said later that the Shaver Mystery had simply run its course and sales were decreasing.” One of the most prominent critics of the Shaver stories was a young Harlan Ellison!

That didn’t end the Shaver stories. Palmer credits these tales with the public fascination with UFOs. John Keel’s 1983 Fortean Times piece “The Man Who Invented Flying Saucers” claims that “a considerable number of people — millions — were exposed to the flying saucer concept before the national news media were even aware of it. Anyone who glanced at the magazines on a newsstand and caught a glimpse of the saucer-emblazoned Amazing Stories cover had the image implanted in his subconscious.” Indeed, Palmer was quick to defend the Shaver stories and claim that “flying saucers” were their validation.

Directed by Dean Bertram, this interviews Joshua Cutchin, Maxim W. Furek, Nathan Paul Issac, Gabriel McKee, Bryan Shickley, Tim R. Swartz and Steve Ward, as well as showing interview footage from Richard S. Shaver and Ray Palmer, the editor of Amazing Stories that published all of the Shaver stories. This is an early look at the entire movie, The Man Who Invented Flying Saucers, and I’m excited to see it. You can learn more at the official Facebook page.

Fisitor (2024): Directed and written by Llyr Titus, this is about Ioan, who is stalked by grief for his husband and a nightmarish creature from Welsh folklore, trying to survive Christmas Eve. Made entirely in the Welsh dialect, this is a folk horror that is — here’s that word again — completely of the Welsh tradition. It’s also gorgeous, a black-and-white, stark film that keeps you watching in terror.

Shadow Dancer (2025): A proof-of-concept film by Nikki Groton, an underestimated tap choreographer (Kelsey Susino), battles against surreal and violent hallucinations while trying to come back to her life before she loses the most significant opportunity of her career. Obviously, the nightmares that she sees coming to life — and hears, the sound design in this is fantastic — she isn’t just battling the supernatural. She’s fighting a sexist world that she’s trying to break through. I’m eager to see how this develops into a full-length movie. You can watch it here.

It Burns (2024): Directed by Kate Maveau, this is a short suicide prevention film about a woman dealing with her grief and trauma after her partner’s suicide. I loved the touch of this being dedicated to those who have lost the fight. This brings you into the story straightforwardly and directly, trying to fill in the emotions within something that we all face, as the latest data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) claims that over 49,000 people died by suicide in the U.S. in 2023, which is a death every 11 minutes. Can one life matter? I think that it can.

Drainomania (2025): Directed by Christopher Greenslate, this finds Katie (Sally Maersk) at a crossroads she never realized with her girlfriend L (Gabrielle Maiden). She’s been asked to do something simple: clean the bathroom. Instead, she’s spiraled into a dream sequence that could trap her and destroy their love story. I think this movie is a good reminder to anyone in any type of relationship to respect your partner and always volunteer to clean the bathroom. Maybe it helps that I was once a janitor, because I don’t mind getting things nice and clean. Handsies and kneesies is the only way to clean.

Bath Bomb (2025): Directed by Colin G. Cooper, this starts with Dr. Jordan preparing a bath for his lover, Grant. Grant’s been cheating on the doctor and thinks he doesn’t know. Oh, he knows. This is totally a Giallo, and cinematographer Jeremy Benning gets the most out of the short running time and pushes the colors, the action and the dread with each moment. I learned that you can’t talk your way out of things when you’re naked, in the tub, and a sizzling bath bomb is about to be dropped on you (amongst other things). Totally amazing and one of the highlights of GenreBlast!

The Night Kills Lovers (2025): Jonathan Brito puts together a quick and fun slasher here, as The Caretaker (Daniel-Paul Sampson) introduces the story of lovers the injured — and sick — Wesley (Adam Wesley) and Francis (Matt Gallagher), who is taking care of him but also driving him crazy by putting on a mask and refusing to listen to him explain how dangerous the city is. Even worse, Francis left the door to their apartment open all day, which already had Wesley freaked out. Things aren’t going to get any better! This was a ton of fun!

GENREBLAST FILM FESTIVAL: SHORTS BLAST #2 // RETURN OF THE SCI-FANTASTIC

The best sci-fi and fantasy shorts GenreBlast has to offer.

The Man That I Wave At (2025): Directed and written by Bob Hylan, this hit on something that I think about all the time. Sam Pamphilon keeps wondering why a neighbor, Marek Larwood, waves at him. They don’t know one another. How has he become so familiar with him? Why does that waving guy in front of the store, those air blowing things, stay at his post all day? Why are people trying to drive him insane? How can we know anyone outside of ourselves, except on a superficial level, and even then, we only know them based on the outward perception and our own unconscious bias? Maybe I’m thinking too much…but this was a great short with a perfect punchline at the end.

Supercritical (2025): The place? A post-apocalyptic nuclear fallout shelter. The issue? A young scientist (Misha Brooks) bothers the team leader (Amanda Bruton) with a series of progressively inane HR requests, including how many days off he gets at the end of the world. Directed and written by John Osment, this does a perfect job of showing off the inanity of the workforce, what it’s like to be an older leader and how the world doesn’t end when they tell us that it’s all over. The struggle of your job will remain.

Song Is a Spell (2023): Director and writer Cameron Kit is “a feminist sci-fi filmmaker and video artist based in Brooklyn, NY. She has directed over 30 films. Cameron is the host of the podcast and radio program They Came From Outer Space, a sci-fi movie review show airing on WRIR 97.3 since December 2018. She is the founder and CEO of YOYOS, a documentary storytelling company focused on future tech like AI, nanotech and Urban Air Mobility.” In this short, an all-girl band, Caliban, accidentally unleashes a spell during band practice when Ana brings her spell book to practice and uses it for lyrics. This almost causes Flow and Rosemary, her bandmates, to split the band. Can they solve problems and actually improve at playing? I had a lot of fun with this one, as it really gets across the yearning of being in a band.

The Weatherman Who Knew Too Much (2025): Directed and written by Kaylin Allshouse, this has washed-up weatherman Barry (Beau Roberts) finding out how to predict the weather from a fortune teller named Great (Catherine Collier). All he really wants is Anglie (Angela Katherine), the bartender whom he sees every night, but as he becomes famous, he must decide what is most important to him. I really could see this as a full-length film and enjoyed this one quite a lot.

Connection (2025): In this short by Tom White, Agent Carsons (Joshua T. Shipman) is tasked with interrogating an extraterrestrial (Trip Rumble), but learns that he himself is the experiment, as the sessions begin to cause visions of his ex-wife (Maggie Gough) and leave a voice inside his head. I really liked the unexpected nature of this — it seems as if you’re being set up in one way and White takes you down a completely different path. Definitely a head-scratcher in all the best of ways.

Deb & Joan (2025): Isaac Rathbone directs and writes this short, in which a scientist (Leah Nicole Raymond) is surprised that a robot (Gabby Sherba) has developed not just a sense of humor, but feelings for her. The lead scientist, Dr. Roman (John Austin Wiggins), demands that she see the astronaut robot as just that, a machine, before a four-year mission to Ceres, a moon of Jupiter. Rathbone said, “Our team is developing a retro-future aesthetic for this project. No ray guns, beehive hairdos or mylar jumpsuits. Instead, audiences will see the future from a perspective of the past. The world and technology of Deb & Joan will have a feeling of continuing evolution as opposed to being polished and sleek.” This film lives up to its promise and succeeds despite its short running time and small budget.

Astrovan (2025): Matt Heder directed and wrote (with Bryson Kearl and Will Hunter Thomasan) this film, one of my favorite shorts that I’ve seen at GenreBlast, in which Max (Andrew Lindh) and his pet pig Cliff want to watch a Trailblazers game, which causes them to get the help of Roger (Steve Agee) and then…aliens.  Van life, cooking recipes, promises to fathers, conspiracy theories…this is like my YouTube Watch Later but all in one well-made short. I loved this and want more of these characters and this story.

Sizzlin’ Summer of Side-Splitters 2025: Babygirl (2024)

Sept 1-7 John Waters Best of the Year Week: To be fair, these movies aren’t ALL funny, but JOHN WATERS is funny. He’s become more of a writer and public commentator these days. Still, he helps keep the arthouse from taking itself too seriously with his annual top-ten lists, while celebrating the comically serious.

I’m Sam and my kink is movies where Nicole Kidman gets railed.

Yeah, I said it.

She’s totally not my type. She’s too wealthy, too skinny, too elite. Yet I love that this phase of her career has been in shows like Big Little Lies, where she Facetime sexted her abusive husband before shoving him down the steps (spoiler, yeah) and Nine Perfect Strangers where she had both male and female lovers, as well as in movies, like when she urinated on Zac Effron in The Paperboy (well, it was a jellyfish sting, but let us live), pretended to be knocked out so her husband could indulge his kink in The Killing of a Sacred Deer and reminded us that “Somehow, heartbreak feels good in a place like this.”

Maybe I like it when rich and famous people do scandalous things.

Babygirl is another one of those movies where a gorgeous woman like Nicole Kidman is bored with sex with a handsome man like Antonio Banderas and ends up hooking up with a way too young boy who doesn’t understand the difference between being a dom and being a jerk, ala 50 Shades of Grey. She gives her the sexual experience that she’s only seen on Pornhub when she’s frigging herself, when her husband finishes too quickly.

Anyways, in this, she plays CEO Romy Mathis, whose husband Jacob is a theater director. She ends up hooking up with her intern, Samuel (Harris Dickerson), who immediately becomes a jerk when he visits her family, disrespecting her boundaries. He also keeps threatening her job to get her to say what he wants her to say, which is another way of just being a jerk instead of being a dom.

Directed and written by Halina Reijn (Bodies Bodies Bodies), this has the kind of empowerment that finds Kidman on all fours like a dog, which unlocks her ability to tell her husband that he’s never gotten her to orgasm, but then he does. Still, then she’s really thinking about her younger former lover playing with his dog. Man, that needle drop of “Father Figure” was way too on the mark, huh?

Kidman is good in this, and the idea of choosing between the life of power that you’ve built and the sex that you really want. Or maybe when you’re rich, you can have everything you want. Also, I think it’s hilarious that Samuel has a bad haircut and mumbles much of what he says, but he has a powerful woman fawning all over him. Whatever it takes to unlock what you’ve trapped inside, I guess.

If anything, this movie has given us Nicole Kidman angrily texting to the tune of “Deceptagon” by Le Tigre.

John Waters said of this, “Okay, heteros are cutting edge this year, too. Nicole Kidman continues taking big chances in her career, and she deserves our salute. Here, she howls, she moans. She’s a verbal power-bottom cougar at the top of her business-executive career who meets a dominant, lowly intern top who makes her lap up milk from a bowl like… like… well, like a pussy.”

Sizzlin’ Summer of Side-Splitters 2025: Love Lies Bleeding (2024)

Sept 1-7 John Waters Best of the Year Week: To be fair, these movies aren’t ALL funny, but JOHN WATERS is funny. He’s become more of a writer and public commentator these days. Still, he helps keep the arthouse from taking itself too seriously with his annual top-ten lists, while celebrating the comically serious.

Directed by Rose Glass (St. Maude), who wrote the story with Weronika Tofilska, this finds Lou (Kristen Stewart) dealing with her crime family — her father Lou Sr. (Ed Harris) sister Beth (Jena Malone) and her abusive husband JJ (Katy O’Brian) — as well as a heartsick girl in love with her, Daisy (Anna Baryshnikov), and a boydbuilder on her way to Vegas, Jackie (Katy O’Brian) — and the deaths that come in the wake of being part of such a world.

This movie — especially the ending — is crazy. You have Ed Harris with a mullet destroying an entire room, Stewart transcending her teen movie past, and a fantasy close that I never saw coming, to the point that I think it could be An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge in the way that it breaks the film.

In an AP interview, Stewart and O’Brian were asked about what movies they were told to watch:

I read that Rose had the cast and crew watch Cronenberg’s Crash, Paris, Texas and Showgirls. Were any of those new to you, or did you find different dimensions as they related to this?

STEWART: I had never seen Showgirls. I watched it in the trailer halfway through the movie and came out and was like ok, I’m not big enough. I’m not thrusting hard enough.

GLASS: Not walking away dramatically enough.

STEWART: Like ohh that’s why you wanted me to go bigger.

O’BRIAN: I wasn’t able to find Crash in anything other than French, which I don’t speak.

GLASS: That’s crazy!

STEWART: It wasn’t on MUBI.

A movie about escaping the past, the transformative power of finding a lover who hallucinates throwing you up while on stage and leaving your family behind, I wasn’t ready for any of this. Just…wow.

John Waters ranked this his top pick of 2024, saying, “This hilarious, bloody film noir is the best movie of the year, one that Russ Meyer might have made if he had been a lesbian intellectual addicted to steroids. Even the pig-men are cute. Sort of.”

GENREBLAST FILM FESTIVAL: Inter-State (2025)

In this film by Sam Gorman, an idealistic scientist named Bentley McCrissus (Aubrey Clyburn) gets recruited by a tech startup. They claim to be close to creating the world’s first teleportation device. If we’ve learned anything from movie about this, it’s that things that can go from point A to point B through some other dimension end up bringing back other things and ruining lives.

That’s what happens here when an accident happens and the protagonist teleports something back: The Tracksuit Man.

All they wanted to do was figure out how to move packages faster than FedEx and now, they have more than one of these Tracksuit Men coming after them. What started as a dream job turns into something horrible.

This was filmed using the Carnivision™ 4K VHS Digital-Analogue Hybrid Video System. Said to be the future of home video, I feel like it’s something that is part of the universe of this film. It feels like an Empire Pictures movie with less of a budget, and that’s a compliment.

GENREBLAST FILM FESTIVAL: House of Ashes (2024)

Meat Friend, a short that director and co-writer (with Steve Johanson) Izzy Lee made, is one of the best short films I’ve seen, so I was excited about this feature.

Mia (Fayna Sanchez) has lost her husband and her baby, which has led to her being jailed in her home, as she lives in a state where miscarriage is murder. Under house arrest, she moves in with her new boyfriend, Marc (Vincent Stalba), and tries to get through things with her sanity intact.

But ah, that Bava lighting clues us in that this is in no way paradise. And Marc isn’t a dream partner, either.

So what happened with her husband, Adam (Mason Conrad), who was found in their animal clinic with a syringe in his neck, a death that caused her to lose the baby and be arrested for his murder, until it was learned that Adam had killed himself? Marc soon loses it over her memories of Adam, demanding she destroy everything with a memory of him attached and then drugging her despite her being on probation. To make things worse, her probation officer (Lee Boxleitner) continually calls her a murderer, and social media personality Lexi ShokToks (Laura Dromerick) is stalking her, hoping to push her into creating viral content.

Unfortunately, we live in a world where this film no longer feels entirely horror. Yes, the ghosts are from the fantastic, but the lack of body autonomy for women isn’t just speculative fiction. This adds a darkness to this film that haunts every frame.

GENREBLAST FILM FESTIVAL: Burnt Flowers (2024)

Directed and written by Michael Fausti, this film takes place in 1968, 1983, and 1992, starting with Alice Kyteller (Ayvianna Snow) in 1992, telling the police that her husband, Austin (Adrian Viviani), has gone missing. The problem? When Detective Franc Alban (Amber Doig-Thorne) asks when she last saw him, the answer is eight years ago. And how does this tie to a series of murders in 1968 that Iris Young (Alice Stevenson), the daughter of TV psychic Cassandra Young (Dani Thompson) — who is now a professional dominatrix — claims to know the answer to?

Shot by Kemal Yildirim, this looks incredible, a film noir serial killer movie that transcends time and space to bring together seemingly unconnected people and times. There are so many questions. Why is Austin in photos with Detective Alban’s mother?  Is every cop corrupt? And is every woman a femme fatale?

This is a movie set in a world that I would greatly enjoy living in, but I know I would never survive. It’s worth a visit.

TUBI ORIGINALS: Please Don’t Feed the Children (2024)

Destry Allyn Spielberg is the youngest biological child of director Steven Spielberg and his second wife, actress Kate Capshaw. She’s been a model, an actress and grew up on film sets, which is how she was inspired to become a director. This is her first full-length movie.

I kind of love this “Parents Need to Know” from Common Sense Media: “Parents need to know that the horror film Please Don’t Feed the Children stars Michelle Dockery and contains significant violence and jump scares as well as swearing. Variations on “f–k,” “s–t,” “ass,” and “bitch” are used throughout. A virus is turning adults into cannibals, while child carriers are being hunted down and killed. Characters are chased, captured, drugged, tortured, and killed. They experience fear and witness the cold-blooded killings of their loved ones, including younger siblings. People are stabbed, shocked via a collar, shot at close range, and killed. The movie has themes of cannibalism and lots of blood. Wounds are shown in close-up. Two young people kiss, and people are glimpsed in their underwear.”

All the cannibalism is fine. It’s the underwear we need to be concerned about!

Mary (Zoe Colletti) is trying to escape the government officials who are trapping and killing kids, the carriers of a virus that turns people into cannibals. She joins up with Vicky (Regan Aliyah), Ben (Andrew Liner), Seth (Josh Melnick), Jeffy (Dean Scott Vazquez), and Crystal (Emma Meisel), who are trying to get as far away as possible and attempt to cross the border into Mexico. After some injuries, they seek safety at Clara’s (Michelle Dockery) house. She claims to be a nurse and even offers to make them cookies, but the truth is much more sinister. Not everyone will survive, obviously.

No one can trust each other, but when you live in a world where the government is killing adults, blaming children and locking down the world, well…would you? Mary just wants the kids to herself to replace her kids, who died as a result of the virus. She’s helped by a cop named Fitz (Giancarlo Esposito) whose loyalties seem to shift between helping and harming the group.

Spoiler: This is another movie that concludes with a young girl setting a house on fire.

Written by Paul Bertino, this film was allowed to continue filming during the SAG-AFTRA strike last year because it was not tied to a studio. It also had some issues with funding and paying its cast, but that’s how low-budget films go.,

You can watch this on Tubi.