The quantum suicide thought experiment is a lot like Schrödinger’s cat. In that, a cat, A cat, a Geiger counter, and a bit of radioactive poison are placed in a sealed box. Quantum mechanics believes that after some time, we can consider the cat to be both alive and dead. If you were to look into the box, you would find out the truth, but for now, you must assume that the cat is in both states.
A quantum suicide is an experiment where the box kills an occupant in a given time frame with a probability of one-half due to quantum uncertainty.
The difference?
The person inside the box is recording their observations of what is happening.
The significance?
This person is in a life and death situation and realizes it, unlike the cat.
There are also three rules, as written by Max Tegmark in Our Mathematical Universe:
The random number generator must be quantum, not deterministic, so that the experimenter enters a state of superposition of being dead and alive.
The experimenter must be rendered dead (or at least unconscious) on a time scale shorter than that on which they can become aware of the outcome of the quantum measurement.
The experiment must be virtually certain to kill the experimenter, and not merely injure them.
Man, I hate math.
Directed and written by Gerrit Van Woudenberg, Quantum Suicide is about a physicist on a quest for the Grand Unifying Theory of Physics.
You know, the Theory of Everything.
He builds a particle accelerator in his garage and begins his research into the nature of reality. In the process of his experiments, he suffers radiation poisoning, loses his vision and causes his partner to leave him. Yet in his obsession, which has seemingly destroyed his life, he finds some level of understanding and clarity. Only one test remains to finish his work.
This isn’t the kind of movie filled with action. It requires plenty of thought and attention. I really liked the messages within it, but trust me, it’s not for everyone. But for viewers ready to experience this film, it has plenty to reward you with.
You can learn more about this movie on the official site.
You can watch this and so many of the films at CFF by buying a pass on their website. I’ll be posting reviews and articles over the next few days, as well as updating my Letterboxd list of watches.
Directed by Adam and Skye Mann, A Guide to Becoming an Elm Treestarts when Padraig (James Healy-Meaney) seeks out how to build a coffin for his recently deceased — but already buried — wife and works with a mysterious carpenter. The carpenter demands that this not be a simple project and requires not just the skills of hammer, saw and file but also the study of the trees and how they will lend themselves to making the perfect container for his lost wife. However, Padraig finds a book in the carpenter’s house that allows him to get done faster, which as you can guess, just goes wrong.
Shot in stark black and white and filled with Irish accents that may seem imperceptible to American ears — the closed captioning is a must — this is a film that is filled with longing, loss and magic that still finds itself in the world. It’s definitely worth a watch.
You can watch this and so many of the films at CFF by buying a pass on their website. I’ll be posting reviews and articles over the next few days, as well as updating my Letterboxd list of watches.
Are you looking to achieve higher states of consciousness using nothing but the raw ass power of cinema? Would your friends or family describe you as “the weird one?” We want you to know that we’re here for you. We’ve carefully constructed our WTF (Watch These Films?) and BRIDE OF WTF short film blocks with weirdos JUST LIKE YOU in mind. Our yearly salute to the stranger side of short cinema is in fine form this year, with a slate of shorts positively guaranteed to make mush of your mind, which feels REAL cool. WE KNOW. We’ve seen them. Also, we aren’t telling you to go out and hot box your car before you watch these films, but we also aren’t telling you to NOT hot box your car before you watch these films!
The Shadow Wrangler (2024): Nan (director and writer Grace Rex) is trying to narrate Western romance novels from the tiny closet of her New York City apartment. There really are paranormal erotic Western paperbacks called The Shadow Wranglers! And then, as she gets to the best part — you know, the throbbing manhood — construction starts happening in her building and her ex also shows up to try to talk.
This is an interesting take on a woman trying to deal with the end of her relationship, a miscarriage and how life seems to not always be figured out. The ending may not seem to completely come together for me, but I really enjoyed what I watched and the touches of humor amongst the darkness.
Two Women Make a Lunch Plan (2023): Two women (Eilise Patton and Jade Kaiser) who have neither seen nor heard from one another in quite some time run into each other and make a plan to get lunch sometime in the future. Directed by Elizabeth Archer and written by William Longsden, this is a quick burst of, well, what it feels like when you just want to escape a conversation or make plans and can’t figure out either.
MAKE ME A PIZZA (2023): A woman (Sophie Neff) is starving, so she orders a Meat Lover’s Pizza that she can’t pay for. Yet, in that old adult film cliche, perhaps there’s some other way she can pay the delivery man (Woody Coyote). Yet he explains that sex can’t be equated to currency and wonders what is the true value of pizza? How does her offer of a carnal evening of pure pleasure possibly pay for all of the many hands that have gone into the creation of these slices?
Then, they decide to become a pizza yet somehow create a pizza god that asks them to leave their flesh behind to become part of the pizza. Will this make them free? Probably.
Directed by Talia Shea Levin who wrote the script with Woody Coyote and Katie Peabody, this is one of the strangest shorts I’ve seen in some time and that’s a complete compliment. It gets the 80s VCA porn aesthetic — was there one? — while making me so hungry for a hot slice of pie. You know. Pizza.
Like Me (2024): Directed and written by Ashley Lauren Thomas, this is about a woman named catlady 5406 (also Thomas) trying to get noticed on social media. And also, cutting her bangs. After drinking. Even as a dumb guy, I know that this is the worst of ideas. I mean, I don’t think it usually goes as bad as it does in this short, but bangs should only be touched by a professional. This has a happy ending, though, as our heroine does finally get the social media interaction that she craved so much.
One Happy Customer (2023): Set in the red-light district of a world that’s created with foam latex practical effects, miniatures and animation layered together, this is the story of a veteran sex worker who tickles the feet of her customers, takes their money and launches them into space. It’s not exciting any more for her, but then she meets a customer who makes her look young and he wants something special. And he’s ready to blow her mind.
Directed, written and produced by WATTS, this has an absurd level of production design. It looks like every single inch of this short has been obsessed over and it’s worth it. This is a world that doesn’t exist anywhere but in this movie and for this small amount of time.
The Rainbow Bridge (2023): Tina (Tru Tran) takes her elderly dog MeeMoo (Fat Tony) to a clinic claiming to enable human-pet communication in the last moments before death. Then things get strange, because the two mad scientists — Dr. Bailey Picadilo (Heather Lawless) and Herb (James Urbaniak) — running the place learn that Tina and MeeMoo share an unusually strong bond that transcends time and space. They might just be the key to something great. But is the cost too much to pay?
Directed and written by Dimitri Simakis, this gets into how Tina and MeeMoo can create a world between our world and the one of our dead pets. This is what the scientists have been working on for thirty years. I loved that MeeMoo explained that he is just a chapter in Tina’s life, not that it makes losing a pet any easier.
The phone number for the Rainbow Bridge — 323-685-2626 — didn’t work. Ah, my plans to speak to my chihuahua Cubby will have to wait. I plan on him being alive forever.
Body (2023): Jake (Aaron G. Hale) and his girlfriend Dawn (Leila Annastasia Scott) have no idea where that dancing Frankenstein’s Monster decoration has come from. But Jake definitely saw it move and stare at him.
If you learn anything from this short, directed and written by Ronald Short, it’s if you find what seems like a cursed object in your house, you get rid of it right away. Have we learned nothing from every Amityville movie? Those dancing decorations have always upset me and this movie has proved to me that I have always been right to be afraid.
Cart Return (2023): “Your chances of being killed by a cart are extremely low. But never zero…” With those prophetic words, Cart Return, directed and written by Matt Webb, begins.
You can tell a lot about people by watching if they return a cart or not. Melanie (Whitney Adkins) is one of those people who just refuses to bring her’s back. This brings out of reality and right into a horror movie.
She’s also one of those people who talks on her phone the entire time she’s shopping, bringing everyone into her self-absorbed conversation. There are quite a few grocery parking lots where I’d love to see this short happen for real.
The Curse of the Velvet Vampire (2023): Two Chinese horror aficionados meet in a cult video store to watch the mysterious vampire film called The Curse of the Velvet Vampire. which stars the band 802 and a lot of beautiful vampire girls. They even worked with Warpigs Brewing to create a beer called Velvet Vampire.
Directed by Christoffer Sandau Schuricht, who wrote the script with Poul Erik Madsen (he and Schuricht made The Beast Will Kill Us All together) and Andreas Asingh (the lead singer of 802), this gets the Demons mask in immediately and I wish there was a video store like this close to me even if it rents tapes that seemed cursed.
I love the look of this and wish we’d gotten the full movie that 802 was in, because whatever it is, it’s awesome.
Gum (2023): An obsessive gum chewer (Sean Moskal) is working to hit a deadline that seems impossible. He keeps chewing gum, as he always does, in an attempt to stay awake. Yet the more he bites into, the less teeth he has. Directed and written by Sam Elder. this is one short to miss if you have teeth loss or bloody mouths as your triggers. I guess it must be hard to blow bubbles with a mouthful of nothing.
Type A (2023): A man (Joe Briggs) is one of those Saw situations where must complete a task in exchange for his life. Directed and written by Jake Barcus, we discover that task is impossible, because it’s plugging an HDMI cord in, which is the hardest thing ever. Also, maybe you shouldn’t discuss rimming with a masked killer with a gun and a voice changer.
STAIRWELL (2022): Directed by Anthony Ceceri and David Britton, who wrote the script, this animated short has a young girl start to notice the patterns of the stairwell in her building. Each time she is on the stairs, there’s another dead animal, from fly to roach, rat to cat. Always something larger. Always something dead. Short, sweet and sinister, this is well made.
We Joined a Cult (2023): Directed and written by Chris McInroy, this is the tale of Wes (Kirk C. Johnson) and Luke (Carlos Larotta), two guys who wanted to play kickball and ended up in the cult of “He Who Blows In the Wind.” Things get as out of hand as you imagine quite quickly with possession, brain licking, blood sprays and Lenny (Brant Bumpers). McIntroy also made GUTS, which is one of the few films made lately that made me physically sick, so I’m super excited to report that this has tons of the red stuff and no small shortage of moments that will make you feel queasy. A success!
The 44th Chamber of Shaolin (2022): This starts with a disclaimer just like Jackass which means that I’m already a fan. The 44th Chamber of Shaolin is about the fake training that a kung fu master creates for a student who may love Shaw Brothers movies too much.
Directed and written by Jon Truei, this discusses chi powers and how if you train hard enough, you can defeat guns. You know, all that Dim Mak stuff. If you pay enough money, most karate schools will tell you that you can do just about anything.
Sifu Carlos (Santino Marin) believes that the kid (Marshieh Johnson) has the potential to be a Shaolin warrior, to enter the 44th Chamber, started by a killer monk that he passed on to ninjas. To become invulnerable to pain, you must taze yourself in the nuts as many times as you can. This gives you the defense that you require to fight anyone.
I loved this. Between the flashback scene and multiple stuns to the sack, this is cinema.
You can watch so many of the films at CFF by buying a pass on their website. I’ll be be posting reviews and articles over the next few days, as well as updating my Letterboxd list of watches.
Named in honor of the wild collections of short genre fiction curated by the luminary author Harlan Ellison, CFF’s Dangerous Visions block has long been the dark heart of their short film program each year, and this year, there were too many fantastic horror and sci-fi shorts for a single block to contain them so they’ve expanded things to include our virtual SO LONG AND THANKS FOR ALL THE DANGEROUS VISIONS block. No summer spent at Camp CFF is complete without the heaping helping of HOLY SHIT that are these two blocks!
Nian (2022): This ran on Hulu’s Bite-Sized Halloween and is directed and written by Michelle Krusiec. It’s about Gertie (Lauren Mei), an Asian-American student who is bullied. To defend herself, she turns to one of the mythological creatures from Chinese New Year, the Nian. It’s a mythological creature said to eat rotten children. I loved her grandmother (Dawn Akemi Saito) who is in no way shy or non-profane about how angry she is that someone would tell her daughter to go back where she came from.
I didn’t know anything about the nian before watching this. When the Chinese New Year begins — usually at the end of January — the nian arrives to feed on anything a village has, even their children. Demon masks — like the one in this film — protect kids from this creature.
This looks absolutely gorgeous and better than most modern films. It’s quick and to the point, but gives Krusiec time to prove a great level of talent. You can learn more at the official site.
Consumer (2023): The PR line for this is “What if John Carpenter directed an episode of Goosebumps?” Well, that sets me up for something interesting.
Matt Fisher (Nate Ridgeway) is the kind of sensitive soul that sits in the mall and draws sketches. Well, that enrages the local bullies, who are Corvette t-shirt-wearing Johnny Porterhouse (Jack Anderson), Jeff Sally (Jeffrey Nichols) and a punked out girl named Harvey Keller (Bethany Carroll) who draws all over his work and is so mean that I’d furtively make mixtapes for her and wonder why the only attention I could get from her was scorn. Yes, perhaps I was a young Matt in the late 80s. I absolutely love that Jeffy carries a morningstar with him like teens my age used to walk Beaver Valley Mall with nunchucks.
Matt then meets Dave (played by Matt Fisher, who directed this short) and is given a video game called Consumer that offers him the choice between forgiveness or consuming. His choice drives the rest of this movie.
Directed by Matthew FIsher and written by Maximum Byrd, this is the kind of movie where someone is handed a floppy disk and told, “Those bullies are going to get what’s coming to them.” As a longtime fan of movies like Evilspeak and Trick or Treat, I am always down with geeks rising up and getting their rightful revenge. Also: the company who made the Consumer program is Theophilus, which means “loved by God.” Hmm…
The idea of learning to forgive instead of being consumed is deep within this. Even better, this parable is told with gorgeous colors and angles, as well as a feel for the mall that is often missing in modern media that attempts to recreate the 80s. I had a blast with this. You can learn more at the official site.
The Noise (2023): Ella secretly struggles with an eating disorder to the point that during her birthday dinner, all she can hear is the calorie counts of the meal her family has made for her. This is called The Noise, a force that becomes a monstrous form that takes over Ella’s life. As someone who has struggled with their weight their entire life and continually tracks calories on an app, I have felt all of the voices in her head but never to this extent.
Directed by Jillian Shea Spaeder (who also wrote, produced and stars in this short) and Bryce Gheisar, this is a terrifying film that can also explain in a very visceral way what it’s like to constantly be worried about what we put into our bodies to a level that destroys your life. I really loved — as much as I can — the sound design of The Noise.
Ella is obviously not out of shape and is a normal girl. I felt for her and what she’s going through in this. And the film, from an artistic perspective, mixes so many difficult shots — a long running tracking shot outside, angle shots in darker lighting with The Noise being revealed, darker lit shots that are never lost — that this is a confident entry that could lead to some teachable moments for those who don’t understand eating issues.
You can watch it here:
Apotemnofilia (2023): Clara (Lucía Azcoitía) is having difficulty transitioning from her pregnancy back to acting. Now, confronted with a packed house on opening night, she can’t stop the buzzing that is going on in her head, even when she — spoilers on — begins burning her leg with cigarettes and repeatedly stabbing herself to remove whatever is inside her.
Directed and written by Jano Pita, this doesn’t shy away from huge displays of splatter and literal geysers of blood as the world is falling apart outside Clara’s dressing room door. I learned from my friend Joseph Perry that apotemnofilia means the “desire of amputation for a healthy limb” and wow, this lives up to that medical term.
Extra points for a poster that echoes Tenebrae and has such a striking black and red color balance. Wow. This one is something else.
Giallo (2023): When a movie says that it’s dedicated to the masters of Italian horror and the Ramsay Brothers (Mahakaal), you know that I’m already going to be predisposed to liking it.
Director and writer Yogesh Chandekar has put together what feels like an honest tribute to giallo, as the music by Achint Thakkar is absolutely perfect, the lighting is gorgeous — our heroine’s (Saiyami Kher) mother doesn’t live in Bava Heights on accident — and I love the look of the masked, black gloved killer. I want to give away the big reveal but it’s just so good that I want more people to see this and be as surprised as I was. If anything, it makes too much sense to be a giallo and I say that as a big fan of the filone.
Here’s hoping that more people get a chance to watch this, because for all the recent giallo tributes, this feels absolutely spot on in look and feel. It even has the soft darkness that only Italian film looks like. It’s astounding how much the streets of India can look like the dark alleys of Rome.
Night Feeding (2023): It’s 4 a.m. when a baby monitor goes off and alerts a new mother (Leah Shesky) that her child needs fed. The crying leads her through the darkness, but the lack of sleep and strange early and late — the small hours — time disorients her as she picks up her baby. As the infant drinks from her breast, she leans back and feels comfort in the fact that the crying has stopped. Yet as the music gets darker and the camera pushes in on her, something has to be wrong. And that’s when we hear the baby still crying even though there’s something attached to her nipple.
Directed and written by Sarah K. Reimers, this has to be triggering for mothers to watch, who will probably cheer when the heroine launches the demonic child. And the father (Andrew Coates)? He slept through all of it.
Come Back Haunted (2023): A reclusive woman (Toby Poser, who is part of the family that made Hellbender) must go against her normal behavior and connect with someone when a blood covered girl (Catherine Bennis) appears, screaming that she has to escape her mother (Virginia Newcomb). The woman tries to become a surrogate to the child, but there’s darkness out here.
Directed and written by Logan J. Freeman, this should remind you that there are horrible people out there as well as those that need help. Yet you should never invite anyone into your home, because just like little me who measured the distance between everyone’s fingers and checked for pentagrams on the pa;m to determine if they were monsters in my kindergarten class, you just never know.
This looks absolutely terrific and has some intense performances by each actor. I’d love to see this expanded into something longer but perhaps it’s perfect just the way it is. Yet another reason to never be near cornfields. Or maybe the monster is inside all of us?
The Little Curse (2024): Abby (Ciera Eis) and Trent (Adrian Honner) have inherited an old house of Abby’s eccentric aunt and are giving a tour to their Rod Stewart vintage t-shirt clad friend Ratboy (Charlie Lind). As they look through the basement, they find a trunk with a little girl’s dead body inside, holding a corn husk doll.
The first thing you should do in this situation is leave the house and never come back. The last thing is keeping the doll, which is what Abby has done. Well, that night, the little girl (Audrina Miranda) comes back for it. Has no one seen Ghosthouse? Leave toys in the coffins of children!
Directors Nicholas Berger and Dana Berry — who also wrote this — know horror pretty well, as well as how couples like to make fun of one another. A lot of it feels natural, but man, Ratboy reminds me of my friend Dillon and he deserves justice.
Strange Creatures (2023): Starting with a Jane Austen quote — “What strange creatures brothers are! You would not write to each other but upon the most urgent necessity in the world.” — and the sound of a phone call, we meet our protagonist as she parks her car. She remembers a phone call from her brother — before or after he died? –= and goes to where he died to seek out exactly what happened.
Directed and written by Nicholas Payne Santos, this breaks up the supernatural feel of this world with our ordinary sounds, like that iPhone ring that we hear every day. What is less expected is the still working payphone in the middle of nowhere. As her brother keeps calling and asking for help — she’s already seen something — our lead is reduced to panic and tears.
I’d like to see more of this and learn what happens next. It’s well made and I wonder where else Santos can take it.
Spooky Crew (2023): The Spooky Crew — Nancy (Olivia Peck), Tim (Jeff Pearson) and Emery (Jerik Thibodeaux) — are ready to go up against the local urban legend of Mary Jane (Wicken Taylor). Some of the team thinks that all of these paranormal things are fake. Some of them are skeptics. They all want you to pay into their Patreon so they can keep doing their podcast.
Mary Jane died on the night of her prom under mysterious circumstances and the Spooky Crew is on the case, live streaming their journey to discover the truth. Also: Tim is rocking a Vinegar Syndrome shirt, so of course I’d ask him to guest on our videocast.
Directed by Erin Bennett, who co-wrote it with Donny Broussard, this gets across the silliness of the whole livestream ghost hunts while remaining authentic to how they actually speak. Also: always pack face masks for when you go into places where there is mold. I mean, it’s as important as having that summoning spell.
Oddly, my town had the same legend but it was Mary Black. It’s the same as the Bloody Mary urban legend that they made an Urban Legendsequel about when people were all into folklore as slasher fodder in the 2000s.
My only criticism is that this ended way too soon. An entire movie of this would be a lot of fun.
Outer Reaches (2023): Directed and written by Karl Redgen, this is the story of two explorers trying to find a new home for the human race. Hargrave (Cam Beatty) and Nestor (Michael M. Foster) crash land on an isolated planet, they learn that the only thing there other than them are a swarm of sentient microorganisms. The air is breathable, but when Nestor gets them into his body, they must weigh the decision to leave. Is their own survival or the chance of spreading this virus going to happen?
The creature begins to speak through Nestor, telling Hargrave that if he wants his friend to live, he has to bring them into the universe so that they can have freedom after a thousand years. It’s an insidious virus that can even take on the voices inside Hargrave’s mind.
There are a lot of great ideas in this for such a short film. The effects are really good and the audio that finishes the film suggest that this isn’t over yet.
That’s Our Time (2023): Wow. Just wow. This movie floored me and I don’t want to give away the ending because it’s that great. It starts with Danny (Marque Richardson) finding that he’s unable to make a true connection with the people in his life. His therapist Dr. Miller (Debra Wilson, who is great in this and I didn’t even recognize her from Mad TV) attempts to show him that you must focus on the time you have left than the time you’ve already spent. But is it too late?
Directed by Alex Backes, who co-wrote it with Josh Callahan, this is a true surprise and perhaps the best short I’ve seen in a long time. I can’t wait to see what Backes does next.
The Cost of Flesh (2023): Alice is a totally paralyzed teenager and the only way that she can communicate with her brother and sister are through her eyes. That’s all we see in most of this film, just her eyes filling the screen and reflections of people within them. There’s an evil force causing this to happen, one that demands blood. Is her family willing to try and free her?
Directed by Tomas Palombi, who wrote the script with Flore Desbiens, this has such a cool look to it, shot in black and white and just remaining fixated on an uncomfortably close shot of an eyeball. We can hear the brother and sister, if barely see them, and otherwise can only hear the strained breathing of the teenager and the sound of thunder.
What a wild film and I can’t even imagine how terrifying the ending was to see on a big screen.
When Shadows Lay Darkest (2023): “It’s only a movie… it’s only a movie… it’s only a movie…” This film used that beloved language in its log line, as this is about a 1970s movie slasher terrorizing a real final girl from beyond her TV screen. It has to be difficult to go from yelling at dumb people in a slasher to suddenly being in their shoes.
There are some immeasurably inventive moments in this, as the TV itself is used to show what reality as become as The Shape-like character from the movie comes into our world. The real colors are replaced with the blues and reds of the horror universe, the synth music replaces any outside sound and then the TV goes black.
I saw and loved director and writer Jacob Leighton Burns’ film Shifter a few years ago, so it’s good to know that he’s still making movies. This is a triumph and one of the best put-together shorts I’ve seen in a long, long time.
Roger Is a Serial Killer (2023): A podcaster named Anne (Sara Paxton, The Innkeepers) believes that her stepfather Roger (Mark Reeb) is a serial killer. Or, well, maybe it’s better for her show Step-Killer if it’s Roger and not his business partner James (Chris Doubek), who planned all of their trips. Now Anne and Roger are worried that they’re about to be killed while her mom Carol (Barbara Crampton) excitedly says, “Tell her about your podcast!”
Director and writer Don Swaynos (who edited Chop and Steele) has put together a really intriguing film here, as Anne goes full Serial to tell the story of the Business Class Killer. It even has a Stamps.com ad.
As always, I love seeing Barbara Crampton in a movie and she’s great at the comedy in this. This is a total blast! Rest in peace to Reeb, who was also so good in this.
You can watch so many of the films at CFF by buying a pass on their website. I’ll be be posting reviews and articles over the next few days, as well as updating my Letterboxd list of watches.
Named in honor of the wild collections of short genre fiction curated by the luminary author Harlan Ellison, CFF’s Dangerous Visions block has long been the dark heart of their short film program each year, and this year, there were too many fantastic horror and sci-fi shorts for a single block to contain them so they’ve expanded things to include our virtual SO LONG AND THANKS FOR ALL THE DANGEROUS VISIONS block. No summer spent at Camp CFF is complete without the heaping helping of HOLY SHIT that are these two blocks!
13th Night (2024): Directed by Benjamin Percy, this is a film all about the lengths a father will undertake to save his daughter, who has become ill with a chronic condition. It starts with the subtitle “sounds of murder” and we see a man taking a Polaroid photo of someone he has killed via s shovel to the throat before cutting to the title.
The long haired man who did the killing comes home to his daughter, asleep in bed as cartoons play on the TV. He has a massive arsenal of bladed weapons, just as she has an array of prescriptions near her nightlight. He falls asleep after drinking — and checking the locks to the basement — before discovering that all of the locks have been removed. A strange man in a suit and American tie appears, says “Hello, Jacob. It’s time.” He passes the demonic figure the Polaroid of his last murder and is told on the 13th of the next month, he must kill again. The always smiling man passes pills to him and tells Jacob that he didn’t promise a cure for his daughter, but he did tell her that she will have a heartbeat. However, their arrangement can end tonight if he wants his daughter to die.
Then, the demon appears to his daughter and Jacob knows that he’s stuck in this arrangement.
This short has some confident camera work, gorgeous lighting and really solid sound design. In fact, I’d love to see this become a full length feature, as it feels like there’s so much more of the story to tell. You can learn more on the official site.
Butterscotch (2023): A young boy (Reid McConville) spends several moments in a nursing home tormenting a man (Clifford Deeds) who obviously can’t move and may not be aware of what is happening around him. As the child whistles and waves in front of his face, we notice that the entire room is blue and the only other color is provided by the comic book red hue of the kid’s hair. He steals a piece of butterscotch candy from the man — I’ve often heard only old people like this candy, so I must have been old my whole life — and then notices that the senior citizen is sticking his tongue out at him and bugging his eyes. I won’t spoil what happens next in director Alexander Lee Deeds’ short but sometimes, people get what they deserve.
Hi! You Are Currently Being Recorded (2023): Kyle Garrett Greenberg and Anna Maguire directed and wrote this short, which stars Maguire. She plays Anna, who is visiting a new lover in Los Angeles. We notice that her kitchen has wine and weed, which she uses before she goes out the door and talks on the phone with a friend, discussing how easy it is to get lost here, how everything feels so extra. Before too long, all the neighborhood watch signs seem to come alive and the idea that everyone is filming her becomes too much to bear. This takes the horror in the mundane, the everyday and shows how we can feel like an alien within our own world, even if it’s just in a different city. I once got lost in Tokyo trying to make a pay phone call and couldn’t remember which of the many similar apartment buildings my friend lived in. I just wandered the streets until he found me and he just laughed. This is sort of like that and kind of like how I tried to take a video of a cute dog last week to show my wife and a neighbor — with faith over fear and Trump flags all over her house — came out and accused me to potentially stealing her dog. Have you ever tried to steal a chihuahua?
Let’s Go Disco (2024): Austin Lewis, along with writers Jake Gates Smith, Alexis Stier and Megan Stier created this tale of a woman trapped inside, you guessed it, a disco. The colors as if they’re living in a Mario Bava nightmare and the pulsing beat was enough to set my dog barking. Fog fills the air as the disco ball spins and soon, she finds her way to a table of people who know her but she has no clue who they are. She overhears stories of people getting killed by an axe murderer as laughter fills the soundtrack and even drinks being delivered feel sinister. The cab ride home is no escape either and she comes back all over again, as the girls become more violent with her, saying that she’s going to stay there and do whatever they say.
Wow. Just wow. This movie knocked me out. You have to see it whenever you get the opportunity because it looks and plays perfect, getting more done in its 12 minute run time than any film that I’ve seen go over two hours. If you’ve ever felt trapped in public, this will make your hands shake as much as it did mine. Also: So much screaming.
Accidental Stars (2024): Aspiring actress Nerissa (Madeleine Charmaine Morrell) has been attending David’s (Kyle Minshew) acting class as part of her dream of being a star. But it’s not enough and if she wants to have him love her work, she needs to be part of his private lessons. Yet all the pressure is seemingly too much for her. After all, this starts with the T.S. Elliot line from Hysteria, “As she laughed I was aware of becoming involved in her laughter and being part of it, until her teeth were only accidental stars with a talent for squad-drill.”
Directed and written by Emily Bennett, this makes the experience of acting feel like being a captive. I wonder if that’s what it’s like. I’ve found that being a writer is like having homework every day for the rest of your life, so maybe dreams kind of come true, even if you’re not ready for what they are.
Maybe I’m glad I never became an actor.
The Influencer (2023): Director and writer Lael Rogers has made a tale of a social media influencer whose dream day is being able to harvest the eyes and minds of her followers as she reaches for immortality. I mean, all those numbers on the live stream have to go somewhere.
This not only embodies the influencer characters that the characters — Ivy (Deisy Patiño), Shea (Laura Hetherington) and Madison (Mackenzie Wynn) — are all about, but the film effortlessly makes the switch over to horror with no issues, as the true influencer (Bria Condon) rises from the sea and guides the women to the sea.
Now I understand why”You all give me life” sounds so horrifying.
Pitstop (2024): A prisoner, Quinn (Emily Sweet) and a guard, Hannah (Mary Rose Branick) are stranded and out of gas. I’d say this only happens in movies, but it used to happen to my in laws all the time. The dialogue suggests that the world they live in is split between a walled-off city run by the government and a resistance who lives outside the walls. Quinn tries to reach out to Hannah and explain what she believes to be the truth, but she refuses to listen.
Quinn has been playing with a paperclip and is able to unlock her handcuffs, which causes the two to fight. As Hannah discharges her weapon, they hear a growl which belongs to a creature (Deryk Wehrley) that can embody your worst fear. Somehow, this brings the two closer or at least able to talk to one another. I really liked how director and writer David A. Flores has put together this story and I’d love to see where these two characters go next.
Souling (2023): An unsuspecting woman (Jacquelyn Ferguson, who also directed and wrote this with Jason Anders, who is one of the disturbing people who gather) finds herself at the center of an ancient Pagan tradition when she was just trying to take a bubble bath.
According to the filmmakers, this modern-day folk tale was inspired by a medieval practice that led to trick-or-treating. There’s a banquet put in front of the woman, who stares at the sack masked faces of those who have sat around her table, finally grabbing fistfuls of food and devouring it before enlightenment arrives.
While I’m not entirely sure what it all means, but I did learn that Souling was done during Allhallowtide and Christmastide. It included eating soul cakes (“sets of square farthing cakes with currants in the centre”) singing, carrying lanterns, wearing a costume, setting bonfires, playing divination games (including one that has been slightly altered to become bobbing for apples), carrying a horse’s head around and performances.
I kind of want to try Souling now.
The Thaw (2023): In 19th century Vermont, a young woman named Ruth (Emily Bennett) watches as her parents Alma (Toby Poser) and Timothy (Jeffrey Grover) drink sleeping tea in order to survive the harsh winter. They can only be awakened in the spring and she will be left alone, allowed to slaughter the sheep if she needs to. However, seeing as how this is a New England folk horror story, things don’t work out as they planned as there’s an early thaw.
Directed and written by Sean Temple and Sarah Wisner, this finds Ruth in this situation because her husband has returned her to her family. She speaks to her mother and cries, “He said I wasn‘t worth the cost of my keep.” Men are uniformly horrible to women in this, blamed for everything, including making the tea incorrectly, which keeps Alma asleep as if she were dead. Now, Timothy is filled with a hunger that can’t end and as they run out of canned and live food, he may start turning his eye to the living. Or, in the case of Alma, the asleep.
Filmed in black and white, this is stunning. Its monotone look and setting will remind some of Robert Eggers, but this can definitely stand on its own. In fact, it deserves to be its own full length feature.
Dream Creep (2023): David (Ian Edlund) and Suzy (Sidney Jayne Hunt) are asleep when she wakes him up. Someone is in their room and wants to attack her. However, they soon learn that the sounds that she hears are coming from inside her ear. The voice soon tells him that if he wakes her up, she’ll die. Well, what happens if she stays asleep?
Director and writer Carlos A.F. Lopez does so much with sound design and pacing in this. This is the kind of movie that you’ll wake up and think about as you watch your partner sleeps and hope that you never go through the horrific moments that these two do. It saves the grisly parts for the close but don’t worry. They’re coming.
You can watch so many of the films at CFF by buying a pass on their website. I’ll be be posting reviews and articles over the next few days, as well as updating my Letterboxd list of watches.
This film was described as “An exploration of one’s relationships with food, sexuality, and revenge.”
Director and writer Aimee Kuge wrote this movie while experiencing a period of disordered eating and the end of toxic relationships. That led to a movie about an introverted nerd — Mark — who finds himself dangerously deep inside the crazy world of mukbanging after he falls head over heels for a mysterious woman named Ash. She’s super into mukbanging so he finds himself getting into it.
Also: Murder.
What is mukbanging?
The term is from South Korean and means “eating broadcast.” There, professional mukbangers make up to $10,000 a month not including sponsorships from food and drink brands. Basically, they eat huge amounts of food while interacting with their viewers.
Cannibal Mukbang is one strange movie and it looks really gorgeous. I’m excited to see what Kuge does next.
You can watch this and so many of the films at CFF by buying a pass on their website. I’ll be posting reviews and articles over the next few days, as well as updating my Letterboxd list of watches.
At 67 minutes, Obsession packs more wildness into every second than nine other movies that you’ll see this year.
Madisyn (Aubrey Madisyn) and Paris (Payton Pinkston) are best friends and cousins. Every day, they wake up, get on social media and post their getting ready videos. Today is Madisyn and her fraternal twin brother Mason’s (Darius Brantley Jr.) birthday. Meanwhile, Paris is driving her sister Paige (Janaya Durham) and father Brandon (Hakeem Sharif) crazy with her pranks, yelling “Caught you simpin’, pimpin'” when she puts honey in her sister’s hair product and hot sauce in her dad’s mouthwash. Her mom Kim (Robyn Rose) gets everyone in line and the kids get on the bus where Mason gets bullied and protected by his sister.
It’s just another day in the lives of this family until Ingrid Snow (Velda Hunter) gets involved.
Back in high school, Ingrid was in love with Madisyn and Mason’s father Sean (Lemastor Spratling) but he has no idea who she is. She even thought at one point she was pregnant with a baby and it was pseudocyesis, an emotional false pregnancy. Her sister Nica (Deborah Lane Spencer) has supported her through all of this and now is trying to talk her out of dating her new boyfriend, who she claims is married and has children.
Back to the family. Everyone is so busy that Sean and his wife Deja (Ebony Tates) are hiring a nanny. That nanny ends up being Ingrid, who has already started scouting the kids and believes that she’s Madisyn’s mother. So she does what any rational woman who thinks that a man who can’t remember her is still in love with her when his wife is ridiculously attractive. She kidnaps both girls and gives Paris enough poison to kill her.
You have to see the scene where she pours dry drugs into the girls’ milkshakes in a milkshake store and says, “That little bitch got to die.”
The film jumps all the place with time like a deranged Tarantino, often showing the same scenes multiple times which is an ingenious way to pad a movie that’s just an hour. But whatever, it’s on Tubi and I’m here for it. Detective Grimes (Hiram Robinson) and Robinson (Sarah Evalt) show up and start walking the parents through things, but by this point Sean is missing because Ingrid attacked him and has drugged him as well and he’s lying on a bed covered with photoshopped photos of them together.
Can Mason, who is so nerdy that he reminds us multiple times that he’s in chess club, and Paige use the internet to find their sisters? Of course they can. Will there be a shock ending? Totally. Do I watch movies like this all day and scream at the screen and then force my wife to listen to me break them down as if they got a 17 minute standing ovation at Cannes? You know it.
This was directed by Dennis L. Reed II (all three First Lady movies) and written by Denora M. Boone. Amazingly, it was produced by Aubrey Madisyn, Darius Brantley Jr. and Payton Pinkston. Yes, the child actors. I learned from Aubrey’s Instagram that she’s an executive producer, actor, model, influencer and CEO of Mini Millyoungaire. Payton is an actress, model, dancer, singer and owner of the Payton P Collection. Look, you can say whatever you want about this film, but were you a 12-year-old producer of a movie?
Directed by David Thies (Prince Fatal Secrets, TMZ No BS: Cardi B), this TMZ No BS installment is all about former Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) Featherweight and Lightweight Champion — the first UFC fighter to hold UFC championships in two weight classes simultaneously — Conor McGregor. He’s the biggest PPV draw in MMA history but his career hasn’t been without controversy, which is where TMZ comes in.
Born in Dublin, McGregor started boxing to defend himself from bullies and then started training for MMA when he met Tom Egan. He debuted in February 2007 for the Irish Ring of Truth promotion, beating Kieran Campbell by TKO. By 2013, he was signed to UFC. Two years later, he defeated Chad Mendes for the UFC Featherweight Championship at UFC 183 — and he came to the ring with Sinead O’Connor singing him out — and then defeated injured champion Jose Aldo in 13 seconds — the fastest knock out in UFC history — to prove he deserved the belt.
He lost his first match at UFC 196 to Nate Diaz but defeated him in a rematch at UFC 200 and he would beat Eddie Alvarez for the UFC Lightweight Championship at UFC 205.
After taking most of 2017 off for the birth of his son, he crossed over to boxing and lost to Floyd Mayweather Jr. in the 10th round of his first pro fight. Despite two losses to knock out and saying he would retire several times, McGregor is due to fight Michael Chandler at UFC 303.
But the controversies! Like going wild in the cage on a show he wasn’t on, Bellator 187, not to mention throwing things at a bus Khabib Nurmagomedov was riding in before UFC 223 and a fight with Nurmagomedov at UFC 229. He’s also attacked people in pubs, allegedly punched Italian musician Francesco Facchinetti, been investigated for sexual assault and even knocked out the Miami Heat’s mascot Burnie.
Between all that — and the new Roadhouse — TMZ certainly has a lot of ammo to deliver on McGregor and an entire hour to do it. Here’s hoping he doesn’t track down Harvey Levin and throw a beating on him.
I know nothing about Vanderpump Rules, but just looking at Reddit comments for this made me filled with joy: “People that have not watched all the seasons and all the episodes don’t really know all the layers going on in this scandal. They are looking at just the affair happened. Not that it was going on for a year or more. How Debbie Desperado was preaching at Lala, James, Katie, Oliver, Charlie, us on national television for months.. while she was actually doing Tom at the same time. It was demented.. she really is the most stupid demon.”
Anyways, Vanderpump Rules has been on Bravo for eleven years and I’ve never seen an episode. If you haven’t either, it’s the first spin-off from The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and is all about Lisa Vanderpump and the staff of her West Hollywood restaurants SUR (Sexy Unique Restaurant) Restaurant & Lounge — yes, she has restaurant twice in the name — as well as Pump Restaurant and Tom Tom Restaurant & Bar.
According to this documentary, the show was about to be cancelled before cast members Tom Sandoval and Ariana Madix broke up after Madix found out Sandoval had been having an affair with Raquel Leviss, all of which was filmed for the show. On March 7, Leviss filed a temporary restraining order against another member of the cast, Scheana Shay, alleging that she had punched her after learning of the affair. During the show’s reunion, Shay and Leviss had to be kept 100 yards of one other.
Vulturesaid, “The stakes of this drama feel higher than those of any other reality-TV couple, and these people, whom we’ve followed with hungry, shallow interest, are acting intensely in character.”
Man, these guys had secret Instagram love symbols. What am I missing not watching this? I mean, this would totally cut into my watching of movies no one cares about. It’s good that I can at least watch this and get it all in one place, even if I have to hear TMZ people scream at one another.
It’s yet another TMZ doc on Tubi that I watch and learn all about a celebrity that I had basically no knowledge of. This time, it’s Chris Brown, who Wikipedia reveals is called the King of R&B by some and has even been compared to Michael Jackson.
Brown became the first male artist since 1995 to have his debut be a #1 song — Coolio’s “Gangster’s Paradise” would be the last song to get that debut success — but within a few years, his albums were failures, all due to the fact that he pled guilty to the felony assault of his girlfriend Rihanna.
Brown began dating actress Karrueche Tran and yet Rihanna and Brown released remixes to their singles “Turn Up the Music” and “Birthday Cake” that really made it seem like they were dating. Brown announced that he broke up with Tran and the day after, he released a video “The Real Chris Brown” where he said, “Is there such thing as loving two people? I don’t know if it’s possible, but I feel like that.” So he started dating Rhianna again, but they broke up a year later and he got back with Tran, who dumped him when another woman gave birth to Brown’s child.
Brown’s life has been filled with controversy, like a fight with Drake in which San Antonio Spur Tony Parker got glass in his eye, a battle with Frank Ocean over a parking spot, a hit and run, a rehab stint and him being kicked out of rehab and having to go to jail. Two years later and he was sued for assault, false imprisonment and battery by his former manager Mike G. Supposedly, Brown took the man who he had hired to fix his image and locked him in a room where he punched him four times in the face and neck.
Worldwide, he has sold over 217 million records and 94.5 million digital singles, but has had times in his life that he did so many drugs that his security had to check to see if he had overdosed and wasn’t sleeping.
If you want to know more form the TMZ crew, this doc has you covered.
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