Imagine if Alien Beasts had a sequel, but one that Boogieman II handled, where you’re never sure if you’re seeing the same movie, a re-edit or whatever this is, a movie mainly having you stare at old monitors while a monotone voice repeats the lines several times. It’s a drone on a drone on a drone, and yet it wrapped me in a warm blanket and coaxed me into a feeling of comotose oneness, a place where I don’t think about the fact that doing five days of emotionally exhausting work only gives you two days off and more than most of those days is spent worrying about the next five days. Instead, let’s discuss monsters, mutants and the hum of old video camera footage. It’s better that way.

Carl J. Sukenick makes movies with titles like Lesbian Beasts 5000 AD, The Toxic Retards, Stamp Killer and Ninja Dream. These movies may all have reused footage from the one that preceded it, but who are we to tell Carol how to do what he does? He doesn’t come to the corner and knock the dick out of our mom’s mouth, after all.

Letterboxd describes this movie as follows: “Aliens are turning people into mutants. Opening scene features claymation.”

What a simple TV Guide one-line take on such insanity.

There is a Mutant Massacre, but again, both movies all come from Alien Beasts, a film — charitably a film — that has dialogue like “My friend Joe put on anti-radiation clothing and tried to stop the female enemy agent! My friend Joe, I repeat, put on anti-radiation clothing and tried to stop the female enemy agent from stealing the weapons from the base.”

I love that Carl got his dad, some fireworks and some friends to fight in the backyard and turned it into movies that morons like me ponder over and write thousands of words trying to ascribe some meaning to, in a world where meaning is a maelstrom and that making sense of things feels harder by the day. 

“After the meeting, Joe notified Carl that there were traitors on their mission. After the meeting, Joe notified Carl that there were traitors on their mission.”

How did Carl get a woman to put on a mask, take off her top, and, most importantly, show up in this? 

That said, I would rewatch this or another version of this over nearly anything currently playing in a theater.