I must tell you, any movie that starts with Lesly Gore’s “You Don’t Own Me” playing while a girl blasts a room full of possessed nuns and priests to chunks with a shotgun, I’m probably going to love that movie. That movie would be The Convent, which explains that Christine (Oakley Stevenson in her youth, Adrienne Barbeau in the present) believed that these nuns and priests were forcing her to have an abortion and that they were abusing children. She’s lived hidden in a house for years, never coming out, becoming an urban legend. The church becomes vacant and a place where people whisper ghosts congregate.

Clorissa (Joanna Canton) is the next in a long line of sorority pledges who must go into the church and spray their Greek letters inside. Along with her brother Brant (Liam Kyle Sullivan), goth best friend Mo (Megahn Perry), stoner Frijole (Richard Trapp), cheerleader Kaitlin (Renée Graham) and frat boys Chad (Dax Miller) and Biff (Jim Golden) — each is a stereotype of what you expect from a horror movie, which allows this film, directed by Mike Mendez and written by Chaton Anderson, to turn things on you — they decide to enter the church.

After police officers Starkey (Coolio) and Ray (Bill Moseley) bust them for smoking up inside the former religious area, everyone runs, except for Mo. She’s hiding from the police so that she doesn’t screw up her probation. She promises Frijole sex — she gives him her panties as insurance — if he doesn’t tell the police where she is. As she hides inside the frightening house of the holy, he makes plans to come back and get his stash and, perhaps more importantly, to get laid, as Mo is a virgin.

Surprise! Mo is kidnapped by Satanists named the Lords of Hell. Led by Saul (David Gunn), who also works at Dairy Queen. While he and his group are mall goths that she sees right through, they really do plan to kill her and bring Satan into our world. She’s stabbed but soon becomes possessed by an actual demon who quickly kills everyone but Saul and Dickie Boy (Kelly Mantle).

Clorissa runs away and comes to Christine for help, who laughs it off, as no teenager is a virgin today. Well, the real issue is that Clorrisa’s brother Brant is one, as is Dickie Boy. Luckily — or maybe not — Dickie Boy plans to have sex with Brant so that they can both survive, but he’s soon turned into the Anti-Christ, the role that Christine’s son was to fulfill. She blows up the church and takes everyone out but Clorissa and Brant. And, well, that cute little dog. But he couldn’t be a demon, right?

Shot on sets from Leprechaun 5: In the Hood and feeling like Demons American Style, this is filled with blood, gore and one of my favorite things in movies, reshoot wigs. They’re all over the movie, so make a drinking game where you spot them. That said, this is a lot of fun. And it’s one more entry on a potential Letterboxd list of horror movies with Coolio in them (Dracula 3000, Red Water,  Leprechaun 5: In the Hood, Pterosaurus and he did play a demon on Charmed once).

The Synapse 4K UHD and Blu-ray release of The Convent has a new 4K remaster of the uncut version supervised and approved by director Mike Mendez, as well as cast and crew audio commentary; a commentary by the Lords of Hell, Saul and Dickie Boy; a video tour of the locations; a making-of; an electronic press kit; liner notes from Corey Danna; a deleted scene and outtakes; a still gallery and trailers. You can get it from MVD.