Directed by Ferdinand Fairfax and written by Lloyd Phillips, David Odell (the writer of Masters of the Universe, Supergirl and The Dark Crystal, as well as the director of Martians Go Home and “No Strings” and “The Yattering and Jack” episodes of Tales from the Darkside) and John Hughes — yes, that John Hughes — I would have no idea this movie existed if not for the magic that is the Red Eye movie section of the Chattanooga Film Festival.

Based on the adventures of real-life blackbirders Bully Hayes and Ben Pease and shot in New Zealand — Sir Richard Taylor of Weta Workshop claims that it started the 1980s Kiwi filmmaking boom — this is known as Savage Islands everywhere but America.

It’s one of the many movies made in the wake of Raiders of the Lost Ark like Hunters of the Golden Cobra, Treasure of the Four Crowns, The Perils of Gwendoline In the Land of Yik-Yak, King Solomon’s Mines, Sky Pirates, Jane and the Lost City, Ark of the Sun God — and yes, I am just listing movies that I love — that went back to movie serials for inspiration, this goes back even further and mines another Hollywood genre that had fallen out of favor: the pirate movie.

Missionary Nathaniel “Nate” Williamson (Michael O’Keefe from Caddyshack) is at sea, trying to save souls. Bully Hayes (Tommy Lee Jones, a few years from The Eyes of Laura Mars but looking like some kind of young lady killer) is a pirate who is trying to make money anywhere he can. They’re forced to work together and are both in love with the same woman, Sophie (Jenny Seagrove, Appointment With Death) and have to save her from slaver Ben Pease (Max Phipps).

Does this sound somewhat similar to the triangle between Will Turner, Captain Jack Sparrow and Elizabeth Swann in Disney’s multifilm Pirates of the Caribbean movies? Perhaps. Except those films made millions and this one was forgotten.

Roger Ebert referred to it as “one of the more inexplicable films I’ve encountered recently. The part I can’t explain is: Why did they make it? The movie is a loud, confusing, pointless mess that never seems to make up its mind whether to be a farce or an adventure.”

For some reason, more than these filmmakers wanted to bring pirates back in the 80s. So I’ll say that this is better than most of them, but it’s up against Yellowbeard, The Pirate Movie, The Pirates of Penzance and the excoriable Pirates, a movie that could be the worst thing Roman Polanski ever did that wasn’t a crime against humanity and also had Cannon buy a boat and leave it shipwrecked at Cannes for years.

Speaking of Cannon, this feels a lot like the kind of movie they’d make, except it’d be directed by Michael Winner or Sam Firstenberg, which means that it would be a lot weirder.

Maybe the fault isn’t in the movie — at least in the U.S. — but in Paramount, the studio that made it.

Allegedly, when they saw the final cut, they were concerned about how close it was to Raiders. And Temple of Doom was being filmed and ready to be their next big summer movie. They didn’t want two swashbuckling movies out at the same time — much less two that rip off the rope bridge scene from The Lady Hermit (shoutout to The Betamax Rundown) and have a scene where the female lead is about to be cooked in a pot — so they released it in November when no one would go see it.

So despite all of that, by the end of this — and the last dramatic rescue — I was cheering. It won me over. Isn’t it cool when that happens and you don’t expect it?

You can watch this and so many of the films at CFF by buying a pass on their website. I’ll be posting reviews and articles over the next few days, as well as updating my Letterboxd list of watches.