You know that addiction to Amityville movies and the demon that cursed me?

I also have one that gave me the Ouija jinx.

Yes, I watched Ouija Shark so of course I watched the sequel.

Like I said, I have a curse.

Directed and written by John Migliore, who also plays the hero Anthony Struggle, who died to stop the Ouija Shark in the last movie. But now, he’s beset in the underworld by demonic goggle-wearing apes and bikini women. And oh yes, Master Caldura (Simon Wheeldon) and his even more powerful Ouija Shark. Luckily, he has Dr. Strange-like magic skills and the help of his ex-wife Cressida, (Deborah Jayne Reilly Smith), who was also the mother of Jill (Sabrina Migliore), the heroine of the last movie, along with magic user  Illyana (Kylie Gough) and her estranged necromancer mother — yes, that is a thing, I just wrote it — Terra (Lena Montecalvo).

This has it all, if by all you mean puppet sharks, a puppet gator — this was called Ouija Shark vs. Tarot Gator originally and man, I adore that title — dancing bikini girls doing a music number, stock footage mayhem, family dynamics dealt through surrogate mothers and daughters, magic users yelling out their powers like Shaw Brothers fighters declaring their fighting styles, a kaiju battle between stuffed animals, a great title and an even better poster. I’m fascinated by people who give these movies bad reviews on IMDB and Letterboxd, as of course this movie is going to have a low budget and be ridiculous. Why are you dumping Ouija sharks and tarot gators in a barrel and shooting at them? Is your life that boring and small that you gain pleasure from slapping around the slappable?

As for me, I love that I live in a world where I can instantly watch a variety of bootleg Ouija movies that are way better than the official ones despite having the budget of a trip to Costco. Sure, I laughed at this movie, but it was a joyous chuckle and the feeling of being alive, not one of feeling superior to the movie that I was clearly enjoying.

As a contrast, my wife’s review: “This movie made you dumber.”

You can watch this on Tubi.