EDITOR’S NOTE: Abducted II: The Reunion was on USA Up All Night on July 29, 1995; February 16 and December 14, 1996 and September 5, 1997  — always teamed up with the original.

Directed and writer Boon Collins is back in the world of Abducted and if you thought that movie was strange — even if it was based on the real-life story of Olympic biathlon athlete Kari Swenson — this time he’s getting even weirder.

Yes, nine years later, Boon would bring back Lawrence King-Phillips as the evil Vern, Dan Haggerty as his father Joe and co-writer Lindsay Bourne to tell us what happened after Joe shot his son, knocked him off a bridge and smashed him into some rocks.

And you thought he was dead.

Actually, you probably never saw it.

Maria (Raquel Bianca), Sharon (Debbie Rochon) and Ingrid (Donna Jason, Undefeatable, Honor and Glory) decide to have a reunion in the woods of Harmony Lake National Park, learning nothing from Mother’s Day, and get drunk in a tent, act rude to the locals and make plenty of noise, which as you know is exactly how to die in a slasher. Sharon and Ingrid soon escape — the latter goes full feral and says that she can think like Vern now — and make a plan to save Maria.

Since the last movie, Joe (Haggerty) has pretty much sold out and given up. He’s being paid by rich hunter Brad Allen (Jan-Michael Vincent) to guide him on a stone sheep hunt. The same sheep that his son has been protecting. Meanwhile, his son — How is he still alive? Does Joe know? — is watching his new captive give herself a sponge bath.

I mean, Vern died by crashing on rocks and he doesn’t seem to have any supernatural powers like a Vorhees or Myers. Could the power of sheer horniness be keeping him alive? He’s also wearing fur and deer antlers, as if he’s cosplaying Tom Drury from Don’t Go In the Woods…Alone! 

This is a film filled with magic, like how Ingrid escapes from Vern by cartwheeling through the woods or when Brad’s helicopter appears and Sharon yells, “It’s a plan!” before she takes off her shirt and uses it to get his attention like a flag. Or maybe it’s Debbie Rochon’s breasts that get all the notice. There’s also a moment where Vern asks Maria about her first time and the film flashes back to an actual sex scene, which is the kind of filmmaking I depend on from Canadian direct-to-video movies and director Boon Collins.

Also: two of the girls may be in a couple, which is pretty progressive for 1985.

The end of this movie teases a third movie and man, I want that to happen even if nobody but me would care.