EDITOR’S NOTE: Student Affairs aired on USA Up All Night on February 2 and November 15, 1996 and April 5, 1997.

We are in Tag-Mur, a mysterious world where Corva (Lenore Andriel) and her sister Neema (Lisa Toothman, Hard Rock Zombies) are battling for control which will come with the two magic swords they call the Eye of the Serpent. They also have daughters who are involved in the battle.

Corva’s daughter Raven (Carlton Lynx) is destined to fight Neema’s daughter Fiona (Diana Frank, Monster High) and the two swords of the kingdom, when joined, will end the conflict that their mother’s father has created just because, well…because that’s what he wanted when he died.

In order to create an army, Neema gets Galen (Tom Schultz) on her side. He’s the kind of Han Solo-esque good guy who wears an eyepatch just because he likes how it looks.

There’s a bad guy with an iron pig mask who keeps getting wounded and coming back, including one scene where Raven straps him down on a table and the way she softcore sexes him up makes it look like he’s in the worst pain. I’m very immature and there’s a good guy named Merkin. Every time they say his name, I laughed out loud.

IMDB claims that this is a sequel to Time Barbarians but I don’t see a connection.

Eyes of the Serpent was directed by Ricardo Jacques Gale (Alien Intruder) and written by Stewart Chapin, Mark Seldis and Tracy Young. Nobody really did all that much after this. But this, well, this is like a made for TV sword and sorcery movie with way more nudity and BDSM than you expect.

You can watch this on Tubi.