Dario Argento signed on to direct a movie called Yellow, which was written by Jim Agnew and Sean Keller. Intended as a pastiche of the giallo genre Argento was so well known for, the film changed its name to, well, Giallo. That’s just the start of the problems.

The original cast was Ray Liotta, Vincent Gallo and Asia Argento, but Gallo and Argento didn’t part from their engagement on the best of terms. A year later, the cast had changed to have Adrien Brody take on Liotta and Gallo’s parts and Emmanuelle Seigner taking over for Asia. He was also dating another co-star, Elsa Pataky, but they broke up the same year this was made.

I guess this movie isn’t as awkward as when he had on dreadlocks and spoke in a racist accent to introduce Sean Paul on Saturday Night Live but it’s close.

Flight attendant Linda (Seigner) and detective Enzo Avolfi (Brody) work together to find Linda’s younger sister Celine (Pataky) who ha been taken by a serial killer in an unlicensed can who goes by the name Yellow. He drugs, mutilated and kills these women, but not before taking the photos he will use to get off to later.

As they hunt for Yellow, Enzo reveals that he became a cop after his mother was killed by a butcher. After he got revenge, he was raised by Inspector Mori (Robert Miano) to use his skills for good. You know, like Dexter. Also, the killer might literally be yellow because of liver disease, exactly like Sin City or the remake of Black Christmas.

It’s a simple idea to contrast cop and murderer, showing both of their origins and motivations, which is even more obvious because Brody plays both characters. Brody did double work here and didn’t get paid for any of it, which led to him suing and getting the movie’s release stopped. He eventually got paid.

Now, two Americans making a giallo script and getting Argento to direct it could have been great but this just feels uninspired. I’ve read others try and explain how this is 21st century Argento and his new take and you shouldn’t expect the same greatness as the 70s and early 80s, but I don’t think anyone expected that this would be below the level of even bottom lever neo-gialli and feel closer to torture porn than a genre that if he didn’t invent, he certainly perfected. I feel the same way when people make excuses for modern day Metallica.  Two of those guys once wrote “Trapped Under Ice.” And Dario once made Deep Red and Tenebre, which for me are two of the most essential gialli.

The idea of the cab driver being a killer is like if Suspiria ended with Suzy Bannion dead before she ever got to the school. I know that Argento is playing with our expectations here but then he does something really rough. He doesn’t come close to reaching those expectations.

I always think about how much Argento and De Palma are alike. Argento hammers that point home because Yellow — played by Byron Diedra, get it? — has so many latex pieces that he looks as ridiculous as the killer in Body Double. Except, you know, Body Double is actually pretty good.

You can watch this on Tubi where it’s called Color of Fear. The title does not help at all.