There are two — actually, who knows, there could be hundreds — of posters for this movie. One has a series of realistic ninjas posing with their swords while the other has Manny Cobretti in cartoon form in front of an American flag, along with a star-throwing ninja and a black man comically firing a blowdart.

These posters are guaranteed to get me to watch this movie.

A ruthless ninja named Mr. Roy has started an organization called Interpole that abducts people and takes their organs, then sells them to the mob, the triads and even some Middle Eastern bad guys.

Two of the organ farm prisoners have escaped, however, and found their way to the police, which includes Tony (Paulo Sorcha, who looked enough like Stallone that he was called Bruce Stallion in some movies). You see Tony also has a secret: he’s a ninja and shares a master with Mr. Roy, who killed their master and also took the time to grope Tony’s girl on the way out.

This movie knows the most essential truth of all ninja truths: Only a ninja can kill a ninja. And that happens a lot here, as ninjas have flaming swords, get their heads spun around multiple times, get body parts sliced off and also block bullets with their bodies because that’s what being a ninja is all about.

Mr. Roy has some amazing abilities, like being able to split himself into six ninjas that, when torn to pieces, all come back together like Voltron. Or the power to shoot lasers from his fingers. And oh yeah, uses compact discs as weapons, which is wild, because someone else uses vinyl records against ninjas earlier. I’m certain there will be many people that debate the audio fidelity and warmness that vinyl gives over CDs, but in a fight, well, we’ve never established which music format is better for combat.

The IFD website lists Kurt Speilberg as the writer, which made me laugh like a loon, and Wallace Chan as the director. Who can rightly say, as IMDB says that Godfrey Ho directed and wrote this, but IMDB can be wrong. Actually, it’s often wrong.

I read an interview with Ho who said of this movie, “Oh, about fifteen years ago. I made movies with Tomas Tang. I try to find young directors, let them grow. I try to do many movies, also as producer. I did a fantastic movie called Clash of the Ninja with Tomas Tang, starring martial artists from Europe and America, all set in Hong Kong. It’s really a fantastic movie, nobody has seen this movie a lot. Unfortunately Tomas Tang died, so this is his best movie he has ever made. That is the only ninja movie I remember, because it was the best movie I ever made.”

Is this even the real Godfrey Ho speaking? I mean, this paragraph reads like one of his movies.

Beyond the absolutely wild story and incredible final fight, the music in this is what you expect from a Godfrey Ho movie. And by that, I mean, absolutely unexpected. I mean, did you ever think “I Remember Nothing” and “Candidate” by Joy Division would be the soundtrack for a ninja battle? Talk about some Unknown Pleasures.

You can watch this on Tubi.