If this week teaches you anything, it’s that the ddirect-to-videosequels of the 90s had nothing to do with the film they come after, usually other than one element. The element here is the mirror from Mirror, Mirror, of course.

Director and writer Jimmy Lifton produced the first movie — he also composed the music and worked on the mechanical effects — and this time, he’s telling the story of where that mirror has been, starting when Nicolette (Sarah Douglas) uses it to blind Sister Aja (Veronica Cartwright), at which point the sisters just decide to keep it and cover it with canvas. There’s no way that mirror would ever cause another problem, right?

An S&M-influenced metal band shows up and the mirror goes shithouse on them, nearly killing off our heroine, Marlee (Tracy Wells, who has left Chippewa, PA and Mr. Belvedere far behind) and putting her into the horrifying grip of her sister Roslyn (Sally Kellerman) and her boyfriend Dr. Lasky (Roddy McDowall), who hire a handyman named Roger (William Sanderson) to make her crazy — she’s already blind and can only see around the mirror — so that she can get the money that rightfully belongs to Tracy and her brother Jeffrey (Carlton Beener).

Well, you know who can help her? Christian (Mark Ruffalo). And he’s a ghost.

Also: Will someone has sex with a mirror again? I mean, yes. I think it’s in the legal paperwork for all of these movies.

This movie goes for it, as Kellerman gets aged really fast, McDowall gets pulled into the mirror, toys come to murder-filled life, Sister Aja cries Michael Myers tears, a stained glass window comes to life and kills someone, there’s way too much dancing or not enough, and then Ruffalo battles the monster in the mirror.

Mirror, Mirror 2 is absolutely dumb and I demand my 90s direct to video store sequels that way.

You can watch this on Tubi.