April 9: Easter Sunday – You don’t have to believe to watch and share a religious movie.

In the spring of 2010, there was a lock-in at the First Baptist Church. Two days later, Justin would confess to his parents that he had experienced evil and had it all on video. Yes, the boys brought a pornographic magazine to the lock-in and after upsetting everyone with it, a demon arose from its pages and made their lives literal hell.

Yet this is not the only Christian found footage horror movie in which porn unleashes a demon. Harmless is about a box of old dirty magazines that unleash a poltergeist that attacks a father and son.

You know who directed that movie?

Rich Praytor.

You know who directed The Lock-In?

Rich Praytor.

What are the odds that someone would make two movies about wank material unleashing demons?

Anyways, Pastor Chris tries to burn the magazine and it shows up again unsinged, which did not happen when my college girlfriend discovered the stack of magazines under my bed and forced me to burn them in front of her and then I singed my hands trying to pull the January 1993 Hustler out of the inferno, but I mean, come on, it had Madison on the cover.

There’s some incredibly bad improv in this movie, mostly from the mother of one of the kids and it makes for a tone that is wildly uneven but come on. You expected that. What you may not expect is the scene where a sound guy shows up in a reflection and he’s not even holding a boom mic but the smallest microphone ever. It actually made me sad for the sound guy.

I didn’t get the barn door speech and had to look it up. It comes up a few times and maybe I was born a Catholic so I’m not supposed to get it. Pastor Chris even says, “Didn’t your parents teach you about the barn door?” Is it Matthew 13:30 that explains that Jesus will gather one group into his barn and the other will be burned in God’s harvest of judgment. This is your chance to teach me.

Why is the demon a child?

Why does this have a twist ending?

Why haven’t I been able to stop thinking about this?

Because this is a movie that has the dialogue “There is a correlation between pornography and demon activity.”

I went to a lock-in once and all I remember is going to Eat ‘n Park afterward, which if you live in Pittsburgh, is a lot like dealing with demons.

You can watch this on YouTube.