APRIL MOVIE THON 2: Journey to Hell (2022)

April 9: Easter Sunday – You don’t have to believe to watch and share a religious movie.

This is loosely based on John Bunyan’s Journey to Hell. Well, I learned about his Pilgrim’s Progress from Glenn Danzig, who started the original version of the video for “Mother” with the line “Then I saw that there was a way to Hell, even from the gates of Heaven.”

“Welcome to my book collection,” says Glenn, shirtless.

Shane Badman (John Terrell) isn’t a bad person. Why did he end up in Hell after he drowned? This surfer went to megachurches and wrote them big checks, so why is he next to Hitler (Ron Gilbert), Chairman Mao (Val Victa), Judas (Anatolii Reeves), the Zodiac Killer (Mikael Mattsson), Eric Harris (Jens Sweaney), Dylan Klebold (Nicholas Adams), the internet scam Nigerian Prince (Jako Crawford), Adolph Eichmann (Frank Mitzi), Pontius Pilate (Zachary Chicos) and the Vegas shooter (Steven T. Bartlett)? Was it because he gambled and may have cheated on his wife (Emilie Soghomonian), whose only character is that she’s pretty and always harping on Shane for not going to study the Bible? Because he was mean to a homeless man (Darrell P. Miller)?

Inside this green screen 50,000 years of Hell, Shane whines to the demons (Arron Groben and Harry Goodins) who look like Abbath and Demonaz from Immortal and I really appreciate that these demons are true kvlt. And I like that Hell isn’t filled with LGBTQ folks and democrats but plenty of those who ran megachurches and were fake Christians. And man, the dialogue, as Shane calls the Columbine shooters that they are “less than dog poop.” In Hell. After thousands of years of burning. And then the Zodiac Killer threatens to kill him all over again. And Hitler saying, “I’ve been in Hell since 1945, don’t tell me what to do!”

Directed by Timothy A. Chey (who also directed Slamma JammaFakin’ Da FunkSuing the Devil — in which the devil (Malcolm McDowell) gets sued by a law student — and a movie I need to track down, Interview with the Antichrist, which is a live interview during Armageddon), who wrote this with Victor G. Chey and W. Thomas, I really ended up loving this movie. It’s so earnest, the acting is all the worst choices and the sheer wildness of it all just has to be seen to be believed. Most importantly, it succeeded in its mission. I have thought about the way that I act and how it impacts my soul. I mean, did I still watch some insanely upsetting movies afterward? Certainly. But it also made me think of ways that I can make the world better.

Also: Mao Zedong threatens a man with kung fu in Hell.

You can watch this on YouTube.



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