JEAN ROLLIN-UARY: Schoolgirl Hitchhikers (1973)

So yeah, that title sounds like this is going to be totally a sexploitation movie — and it totally is — but Jean Rollin directed it so that means there are going to be times where things move so slow that you’re sure you just drank a whole bottle of 70s cough syrup from back when that stuff was really a drug and you had to drink NyQuil in bed because it would knock you to the floor otherwise and it’s the only movie I know that has a torture gazebo with stained glass windows.

So much of the popularity of Rollin’s movies was the sex scenes, so he became Michel Gentil and started making sexy films but couldn’t forget the horror or the weirdness. Monica (Joëlle Coeur, who made twenty movies in four years, many with Rollin, then retired because she had no problem with going nude or doing sex scenes but hated hardcore; I imagine she is very much into Tales of Ribaldry) and Jackie (Gilda Arancio) wander the woods and come upon an abandoned house and before you can say José Ramón Larraz they’re in trouble.

Before that trouble, they make love, then Monica makes love with a man who just wanders in (Pierre Julien), then there’s a threeway when Jackie comes back, then they run afoul of that man’s partner Beatrice (Marie Hélène Règne) who is sure they stole the treasure that they were there to steal in the first place. A private detective and his assistant show up and fumble about while Beatrice whips the girls like she’s a French Olga before the day is saved and our lovely ladies hold hands and skip into the woods all innocent but we just watched them endure a lot over the running time of this film.

Oh yeah — that’s totally Rollin as the owner of the house.

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