Also known as Erotic Nights of the Blind Dead and El Retorno de los Templarios, this shot on video homage to the work of Amando de Ossorio can’t live up to the master but it tries with more screams and more sleaze than even he would try. I mean, the main story is about Miranda being assaulted by her father — in lurid detail, mind you — and her brother Jorge trying to rescue her and failing. Then, the Blind Dead, who once killed witches and were in turn killed by villagers, rise and attempt to destroy her as well. It takes hours and hours to get there, even slower than the slowest of de Ossorio’s slow motion.

Director Vick Campbell also made Black Roses Symphony and The Gravedigger. I’ve also heard that this is British — by way of saying he’s Polish — director Roman Nowicki. Or maybe he’s Vick Gomez. If this was a better movie, I’d delve into who or what he is, but I honestly struggled to get through this and I absolutely love the Blind Dead.

Eurohorror works because it’s trash but also it has some strange level of class to it. I can’t really explain. Sure, there is whipping and nudity and depravity but there’s also the look of things being shot on film and having some actual erotic charge to them. You need more than just to linger on the Templars, as well. You need a reason for them to be there. This is formless.