DISMEMBERCEMBER: Santa and the Three Bears (1970)

EDITOR’S NOTE: Barry Mahon! This was first on the site on March 27, 2021.

Yes, the same man who made The Sex Killer and Run Swinger Run also made an animated kids movie. Look, it’s all exploitation. In the 50’s, Barry Mahon was exploiting fears of Communism and then went from nudie-cuties to roughies in the 60’s and in the 70’s, he realized that the kids of the raincoater crowd could add some money into his pockets, too.

Mahon’s parts of the movie only ran in the theatrical version of this, in which a grandfather and his two young grandchildren sit and talk for four minutes before we see some toys, decorations and for some reason, a kitten. So yes, Barry is known for movies where women in states of undress sit and talk about nothing in particular. This is the kid version of his signature directorial move.

This is also not the only Barry Mahon Christmas or children’s movie I’ve endured. There’s also a cartoon about two little bears who believe in Santa and all their mom — voiced by Jean Vander Pyl, who was Wilma and Pebbles Flintstone and Rosie the Robot’s voice — wants is for them to settle down and hibernate. I get it. I used to wake up at 3 AM on Christmas morning and these days, I feel like apologizing to my parents for the horrific holidays of me being a toy-obsessed maniac child.

You can watch this on Tubi.

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