PITTSBURGH MADE: River of Darkness (2011)

Somehow, someone, somewhere decided that a remix of Striking Distance — a movie that means more in Pittsburgh than anywhere else in the world — and The Fog should star a bunch of pro wrestlers and our world is all the better, particularly because they decided that Kurt Angle should play the lead, Sheriff Will Logan.

That someone is probably director and writer Bruce Koehler, who also made American Ouija. He cast Sid Vicious and Kevin Nash as the spectral Jacobs brothers, as well as the one-time Glacier Ray Lloyd and local Pittsburgh wrestler Jason Winn “J.B. Destiny” Bareford, once an assistant to George Romero and the 2007 Guinness World Record holder for the Most Consecutive Kicks To One’s Own Head in Sixty Seconds, which he won by kicking himself 57 times in the head in one minute. He plays Angle’s deputy in here. And that Dave Hawk guy in the credits? He was Angle’s manager when this was filmed.

Pittsburgh movie fans will probably more excited to see first zombie — and the maker of FleshEater — S. William Hinzman as well as noted Steel City stage legend Bingo O’Malley.

It’s shocking that this movie has an IMDB estimate budget of $3 million dollars, a budget I would be keen to dismiss. But who knows? It’s not the first movie that Angle made with Koehler, as End Game was the first. There’s also Death from Above, which adds Tom Savini and Robert Z’Dar to the yinzer and pro wrestling cast. Oh yeah — Matt Morgan, Rhyno, ODB and James Storm are all in that, so the TNA influence was heavy. Seeing as how it was also shot in Pittsburgh, I guess I’ll have to watch that too.

You can watch this on Tubi.

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