Amityville In Space (2022)

Directed by Mark Polonia, who has been to Amityville before with Amityville IslandAmityville Exorcism and Amityville Death House, and co-written by Polonia and Aaron Drake, this brings back Father Benna (Jeff Kirkendall) from Amityville Exorcism and begins with a final battle against the darkness within the house on 112 Ocean Avenue. The demon inside cuts off the priest’s hand and in pain, the holy man begs for God to help him. His prayers are answered as the house is blasted into not only space, but the far future.

I mean, I’m here for all of this. You know how I am about Amityville, not to mention horror sequels set in space.

The moment that I knew I would love this movie is when the space ship that finds the Amityville house floating within a black hole, we see the crew contains a robot named Vox. Said robot’s costume looks like a silver foil welding suit version of Wildfire from the Legion of Super-Heroes. That’s topped by this film’s version of the demon, which looks like a Spirit store version of a final boss from a Mortal Kombat ripoff game from 1993.

Additionally, this movie is amazing because it’s just as much sub-budget Event Horizon as it is an Amityville film and once I realized that, my heart grew 666 times.

If you can’t get into a movie being made in a small town in Pennsylvania with foil covering the windows to simulate a starship, as well as a giant priest battling an enormous demon outside of a black hole with a glowing pentagram between them, why are you even watching movies?

Also: I did some science research. This movie has its vessel doing Dark Star work sending nukes into black holes. I found the answer, of course, on Reddit. One answer said that “All that happens as a consequence of the bomb exploding is in the future light cone of the detonation event, which is all inside the black hole.”

Someone asked the same question on Quora and the answer there by Shane Kennedy was “Nothing. Even if it did explode, the energy released in a “nuke” explosion is irrelevant compared to the energy in a black hole. The chances are that it would just be torn apart without exploding.”

This answer by Hardik Prajapati gets super scientific: “Blackholes are spheres with very very high gravitational force. Even light can not escape that force. So even if the bomb explodes, we won’t be able to observe it. Blackholes are made from high density neutron star. You can’t expect a black hole to be destroyed just by an explosion of nuclear weapon.

Bomb explosion would release a huge amount of energy (assuming it reaches the “surface” of a blackhole and explodes). Blackhole treats energy and mass equally. So it will absorb all the energy released by the bomb.

Lets assume we throw the bomb at event horizon. Time is slow there, much much slower then in our normal world. So before the bomb reaches the center, we might have passed 100s or 1000s of earth years. So if you are the person to drop the bomb, you probably wouldn’t be the person to observe it when it explodes. Fascinating, isn’t it?”

Finally, this answer by Christopher Barnes says it best: “Not much. Black holes absorb nuclear explosions already – they’re called “stars.” You’d add a bit more nuclear fire and a bit more radiation to an environment that’s already fairly rich in both, to a net result of precisely dick.”

I’m not watching Mark Polonia movies for science. I’m watching them to be entertained. If a Satanic house can fly through space and take over an advanced civilization a thousand years after Earth is no more, who am I to discuss matters of physics when all I really know are shot on video and Italian ripoffs?

You can get this from MVD.

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