2022 Scarecrow Psychotronic Challenge Day 27: Mom, Can I Keep Her? (1998)

27. THE NATURAL ENTERTAINER: Watch one with a pro-wrestler turned actor. Put some raw fun in your movie mania.

Terry Funk is the wrestler that every other wrestler wants to be. When I was a kid and saw him battling Hulk Hogan in his short WWF stint, trying to punch ring announcers, running out with a branding iron and yelling at everyone in his path, I said to myself, “I’m going to be Terry Funk someday.” And that was before ECW, before death matches in Japan, before he did moonsaults in his fifties. I trained with his brother Dory and kept asking, “How does Terry throw those great punches?” The art of pro wrestling is very important and making things look perfect is even more so.

He told me he’d tell me someday.

This movie — directed by Fred Olen Ray, also a pro wrestler — starts with Terry Funk as Jungle Ed, introducing a gorilla on stage and do we need anything else from this movie? How about if it also has a cast of people I’d love to meet? One-time Buck Rogers Gil Gerard? He’s on hand. So are Alana Stewart, Brinke Stevens, Reese from Malcolm In the Middle, George “Buck” Flower, Don McLeod (TC Quist and also the gorilla from those old commercials who’d jump up and down on suitcases) and Mary Woronov too.

Let me say that for you real loud.

Mary Woronov is in a movie with Terry Funk.

Look, a gorilla eats all the cookies. And Brinke Stevens is just so wonderful, I want to write her poetry and leave it in her mailbox because I’d be too shy for her to ever know it was from me.

So on the way out of Florida and leaving the Funkin’ Dojo, I asked Dory Funk Jr. again, “How can Terry make his punches look so good?”

He answered, “He just punches you in the face.”

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