This movie is a worked up 15 year old who reads Fangoria and has never seen a woman naked in person and I want to be its friend. It’s only an hour long with 13 minutes of credits and bloopers, but it knows what you want: breasts, beasts and blood.

Shawn Burkett directed and wrote this and you know, if I were a teenager again, I’d be hunting down every movie he made. According to IMDB, he was celibate for almost a year in order to finish this, so yeah. It totally seems like it.

The monster cost under $200. That also totally seems like it.

Don’t Fuck In the Woods 2 just was released and it definitely improves on this. Jane (Brittany Blanton) is a great final girl and shows up in the second movie too, which is a spoiler, but you know, you’re watching this movie for the sex and gore, so maybe let’s not be so quick to get angry about giving away the plot.

You can watch this on Tubi.