SLASHER MONTH: Don’t Fuck In the Woods 2 (2022)

As long as we have movies we will have summer camps filled with boned-up counselors who make the most critical of mistakes: fucking in the woods. It happened in the first movie back in 2016 and it assuredly happens here. Let me tell you, if this came out in the 80s, high schoolers would have been losing their minds. I mean, this movie has wall to wall nudity and then decides to throw blood all over said indecency. Who will think of the children?

Fuck the children.

Pine Hill Camp is nearly open. Gil and Nurse Vanessa are the grown up, while Will, Mason, Tasha and Mason are the counselors who are already exhibiting the sort of behavior that gets you killed at camp before the kids even show up.

That’s when Jane (Brittany Blanton), the final girl from the original, emerges and starts warning everyone about parasitic alien worms that crawl into your orifices are out there and ready to destroy young lovers.

Director Shawn Burkett, who made the first movie and co-wrote this with Cheyenne Gordon, also must really love Inseminoid and you know, that’s reason enough to stick with this one. Actually, there are plenty of reasons because this is dumb without being dumb, which is a hard line to tightrope walk but this movie sure does it.

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