The Scary of Sixty First (2021)

Noelle (Madeline Quinn) and Addie (Betsey Brown) lucked into an apartment with no furnishing but it’s in the best part of New York City’s Upper East Side. Sure, it gives Addie nightmares and Noelle has found a tarot card that upsets her, but what could go wrong?

That’s when the girl (Dasha Nekrasova, who directed and wrote this; she has no name in the film) shows up and lets them know that they’re living in a place where Jeffrey Epstein once assaulted and maybe even ritualistically killed underage girls.

So of course Noelle falls in love with her.

Meanwhile, Addie starts dressing like a child, jilling off to photos of Prince Andrew, wandering the streets and telling her boyfriend Greg (Mark Rapaport) very specific things to say while having sex such as Boeing 727 and “treat me like a 13-year-old” in a demonic voice.

As these things happen, Epstein owned several buildings around the apartment, all in the shape of a pentagram, and even the mention of the place frightens a magic store owner into giving Noelle and the girl a crystal for protection and kicking them out of his store, all while they’re followed by Ghislaine Maxwell as they run toward the Metropolitan Correctional Center where Epstein died, only to find Addie waiting for them.

None of this ends well or how you’d expect. And you know, I have to admire how this movie synergizes giallo, Eurohorror and torn from the headlines tabloid 70s film trash into one sleazy yet artistic ride.

It’s also hilarious that it ends with the same note that Tom Cruise got in Eyes Wide Shut.

You can watch this on Shudder or buy the blu ray from Vinegar Syndrome.

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