CANNON MONTH: The Arrogant (1988)

Philippe Blot made four movies and three of them, this one, In the Shadow of the Sandcastle and Hot Blood have Sylvia Kristel in them, so of course, I’m going to watch at least three-fourths of his films. I’ll also be jealous the entire time, as he was Kristel’s second husband.

In this movie, she plays Julie, a waitress who has decided to hitch a ride with Giovanni (Gary Graham from the Alien Nation TV show), who we know — and she doesn’t — has just slept with his wife Elvira’s (Leigh Wood, who is also in the strange R-rated Stocks and Blondes edit of Wanda Whips Wall Street) sister and then survived an axe attack by her senator father (Joe Condon, who has the amazing screen credit of doing security for the wrestling dog movie Russell Madness), but he gets the upper hand and murders the man before deciding that he’s God.

As a driverless black Cadillac and Giovanni’s brothers-in-law pursue them, our protagonists have all manner of adventures, like Giovanni being bitten by a snake and going through drug-like dreams as the venom works its way out of his system, three mentally challenged brothers give Julie a sponge bath in a garage, Giovanni keeps cucking men and trying to prove that, yes, he’s (or He’s) God.

He also keeps trying to seduce Julie and you know, it’s Sylvia Kristel. We get it.

Somehow for a movie weird enough to have animator Chuck Jones play a cop, it also ends — spoilers — with Giovanni dying as he crashes his motorcycle into a semi. But you know, he’s finally scored and if you get to enjoy Ms. Kristel, one imagines you can die at any time and not feel like you wasted a moment of your life.

But then the driver of the Cadillac? It’s been him all along.

This is an art film that makes you want to think it’s a sexy movie until you’re watching it and then it’s all about philosophy, the kind that college freshmen discover before the holiday break and come home to tell their parents that there is no God up in the sky. But then, you know, Sylvia Kristel, so I’ve dealt with worse discussion for far less attractive people.

What I’m really saying is that I’m shocked that Vinegar Syndrome hasn’t put this out for $40 with a limited slipcase so people could use the word fever dream in their breathless social posts. Who am I kidding? I have money I’m just fiending to spend on just such a release.

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