JESS FRANCO MONTH: La noche de los sexos abiertos (1983)

So yes, if there is a Jess Franco cinematic universe, it’s one in which governments have decided that erotic dancers make the perfect spies and are always given the most dangerous missions, like how Moira (Lina Romay, who else) is the only person who can solve the riddle of the Nazi gold when she’s not torturing fellow dancers or doing floor work on the hood of an already crashed car.

Somehow, Franco was able to make a movie that has a curling iron scene that even Judy in Sleepaway Camp — also made in 1983, so which came first — would say was upsetting. This film also does not care if you think quick shifts in tone are disconcerting, so one second it’s a goofy comedy, the next there’s an assault, then a love scene, then some murders. Meanwhile, as always, there’s Romay just going for it.

Do you love your significant other? You can base how much on watching Franco film Romay, filling the screen with dirty magazines and still having her be the only focus, his feverish zoom dedicated to not only finding her most intimate regions but pushing your face into them. I can almost imagine him screaming like a lunatic, “I love her so much that I demand that you peer inside her!”

So what I’m saying is that Jess Franco is a lover. And a maniac. And someone who had no problem turning an Indian restaurant into a strip club for one of his movies.

You can get this from Severin.

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