Onna batoru koppu (1990)

What if RoboCop was a champion tennis player killed by terrorists?

Then she’d be Lady Battlecop and spend 81 minutes battling Team Phantom and the NASA-made mutant Amadeus, who does wrestling moves but also has psychic abilities because why not?

If RoboCop himself can be based on the look of Japanese shows — along with no small debt to Judge Dredd, let’s be completely honest — then Japan can take back the favor and take us to Neo-Tokyo and made this little movie that has a great theme song about women being made for tennis so they never give up, which is weird and one wonders, if 11th century France, what did women think their value was before that? And isn’t the value of a woman more than just tennis?

Going off on another tangent, why did NASA invent Amadeus? And why did the Vatican invent Mikos Stenopolis in Absurd? What was the point? Did we need a murderous psychic man in space? What did the Catholic Church want with a man who could survive eating his own intestines?

These are the kind of things that dominate my mind on a day filled with snow and sitting inside watching the roads get covered again. That said, Lady Battlecop has a great costume.

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