Sno-Line (1985)

Also known as Cocaine ConnectionTexas Snow-LineTexas Godfather and The Milkman, this movie comes straight out of Beaumont, Texas. Sure, some talent has been imported, like Vince Edwards (Dr. Ben Casey!) who plays the kind of, sort of hero Steve King (nobody in this is the good guy), Paul Smith (Pieces, Bluto from Popeye) as a local crime boss, Phil Foster (Frank DeFazio from Laverne and Shirley) and June “The Bosom” Wilkinson (The Private Lives of Adam and Eve, Macumba Love) in her first movie in 25 years.

A snow line is a connection for cocaine between multiple cities, here Houston to El Paso, and King is a New York lawyer who has spent a year growing his business in the Lone Star state. All the coke gets moved through a dairy, so when you get milk, you get snow. But the whole story is super slow and there’s nobody to root for. But yeah, director Douglas F. O’Neons did his one and done movie here, working from a script by Robert Hilliard, who also wrote Valentine Magic on Love IslandVasectomy: A Delicate Matter and shows up as an actor in Keaton’s Cop.

I mean, the poster is a million times better than the movie, but Paul Smith does go nuts and kill a gator, which is pretty much the high point of like ten movies, right?

You can watch this on YouTube.

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