Amityville Cop (2021)

You know, I find myself cursed by Amityville more than anyone because I have the kind of OCD that demands that every single time a new Amityville-related film comes out — however tenuous and damn, they can get tenuous — I have to watch it and document it for you, dear reader. Just like Ronald Joseph DeFeo Jr. felt compelled to murder his family, I feel the horrific pull. And no one dies, except for time which is the resource we never get back.

Imagine my surprise when Amityville Cop, a movie that has nothing at all to do with Amityville, was actually pretty good!

Sure, it’s a ripoff of Maniac Cop, but is that such a bad thing?

Directed by Gregory Hatanaka (Samurai Cop 2: Deadly Vengeance) and written by Geno McGahee (Satanic Meat Cleaver Massacre), this has the requisite cop-killing homeless people, but if he’s powered by a Satanic ritual gone wrong led by Laurene Landon — from Maniac Cop and Maniac Cop 2 — I think all can be forgiven.

Someone yells, “He looked like a cop but he was the devil,” which is a thing I have thought many times. And sure, the humor is forced, the effects are bad, the stock footage is overused and a rocket launcher is represented by fireworks — and oh yeah, no one even says the words Amityville — but I was entertained.

For anyone writing reviews saying, “This is the worst Amityville movie I’ve ever seen,” at least this is only 68 minutes and I have a murderer’s row of Amityville films that are worse.

You can watch this on Tubi.

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