SLASHER MONTH: Burial Ground Massacre (2021)

Why do I keep doing this to myself with all these post 80s slashers when I know that there’s a shot on video movie with low tone fuzz and horrible effects or an undiscovered by me direct to video mess that I’m actually going to enjoy? Well, consider me the Final Boy of these horrific modern slashers, enduring their badness for you, dear reader.

So yeah, some college victims decide to spend the night in a haunted manor when a stalker begins watching them and breaks in to grab an ancient Native American artifact. Michael Madsen is somehow in this movie, which surpasses me even as I’m writing that down.

Ring of Honor wrestler Vinny Marseglia does show up as the masked Damon, so if you’re into wrestlers in movies (and I’m speaking directly to Paul Andolina), get this. Yes, he’s playing the same role as Michael Madsen and let me tell you, wearing that mask is way better than any HGH or Trenbolone.

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