Someday, I’d like to make the movie that the poster for Blood Widow promises me, a movie in which a female killing machine that looks kind of like a ninja waits in the woods to kill twentysomething teenagers. I realize that that’s what happens in this movie, but the poster is a near-infinite integer of percentages better than the actual movie, which is numbing in its shot on digital video dullness.

This movie was directed by Jeremiah Buckhalt only a month after graduating from Full Sail University and he made it with the help of his fellow classmates and the faculty. So now I am going to feel bad for making fun of this movie and should stop now.

There’s another movie planned called Blood Widow Lives that I feel like my OCD will make me watch when it comes out. This one has a feel good story behind it and now I feel like I shouldn’t say how out and out fecund it is, so maybe I’ll either save my sadness for the next installment or feel better that it’s an improved movie.

The poster and the costume are still awesome, though.

You can watch this on Tubi.