Earlier this week, I shared my love for the WNUF Halloween Special. I’m happy to report that there’s a spiritual follow-up that goes from the wonder of UHF to the magic of found footage VHS tape trading and the start of viral videos.
A few weeks before Halloween, the crew at Click Clique — a click bait website that once did actual journalism — is struggling to get articles that keep traffic coming in and the lights on. June, who is in charge of this strange bullpen of social media influencers, asks them to gather the 13 most disturbing pieces of footage and give her a 15-second intro. There’s also the secret that the money has run out and anyone whose story doesn’t pass muster will be leaving the halls — such as they are — of Click Clique.
Where the WNUF Halloween Special expertly took aim — and created incredibly perfect UHF era TV footage — at past media, What Happens Next Will Scare You hits everything from dash cam videos to vlogs, re-edited listicle videos, old episodes of In Search of, Cops, the Warrens, urban legends, creepy pasta and serial killer obsessions. It’s like a barrage of YouTube clips with your eyes held open like Betty in Opera.
The music by Queen Wolf — you can grab their music and merch right here — sounds raw and perfect for this movie and I was overjoyed to see Paul Fahrenkopf — but not as Frank Stewart — show up, as well as the return of Dr. Louis and Claire Berger.
How-to videos for exorcisms? Bigfoot on the loose? Killer clowns? A Beanie Baby possessed by a demon photocopying its ass? What Happens Next Will Scare You find director, co-writer and co-producer Chris LaMartina and co-writer and co-producer Jimmy George delivering on a high concept without falling into rote by the numbers parody. They deftly mix rather silly moments with horrific 911 calls. The vlog segments seemed too basic until the absolutely grisly fate of what happened to the teen vlogger. Throw in a cursed record and the urban legend and creepypasta bent of this film just wins you over.
I was beyond excited to see this, as I was sure that it was going to be exactly the type of movie that I get obsessed about. I’m happy to report that it lived up to everything I wanted it to be.
What Happens Next Will Scare You is now playing Salem Horror Fest. For now, you can follow that link to buy a festival badge and check out several other films during October. You can learn more at the official site for this movie.