Heavy Metal Massacre (1989)

Bobbi Young AKA David DeFalco* co-wrote and stars in this movie, which was shot in the metal bars — “The Living Room” — of Province, Rhode Island. Research has shown me that Bill Conti — yes, the man who wrote the song that Rocky runs up the steps to — as well as Blu Cantrell, Combustible Edison, Deer Tick, Jeffrey Osbourne, Six Finger Satellite and Throwing Muses may come from the Renaissance City, but very few hair metal bands (and yes, I realize Vital Remains and The Body are from there, but they are very far removed from the music in this movie).

The movie is all about Bobbi killing women he picks up in nightclubs, but also video effects. It’s the kind of movie that George Lucas might say of, “Maybe you shouldn’t use so many of those transitions.”

This is the kind of movie where the budget did not include cops and emergency crews, so according to an interview from Kotaku Australia, the production got someone to actually call 911 for the end of the movie.

The article goes on to explain that the sledgehammer kill that is so brutal in this movie also nearly killed the girl in the scene doing it, as DeFalco didn’t understand that he had to hit the styrofoam head and missed his mark by 5 inches, striking the actress directly in the head with the wooden handle and knocking her out.

You know, my cousin made a Shot On Video movie once and my grandmother made us all sit down and watch it. She beamed with pride the entire time the film played, which was mostly an endless scene of a drunk old man screaming and not letting the story go on, as they had to shoot in one of his friend’s houses. Then, my cousin’s character killed his girlfriend and had sex with her, but his character had VD, so he ripped off a condom and it was filled with blood.

“I’m so proud of you,” my grandmother said.

Heavy Metal Massacre is somehow worse than that movie.

*Oh man — DeFalco was also once a pro wrestler and on his 2005 film Chaos, he had an extra scene called “Inside the Coroner’s Office: A Tour of the L.A. Coroner’s Crypt” where he walks around the mortuary and talks about Los Angeles’ most disturbing crimes with technician Michael Cormier, who later died from massive organ failure in what has been said to be a conspiracy related to the Obama administration.

On the site Awesome for Awesome’s Sake, the video is said to be “17 minutes of a greased up, shirtless Dave “The Demon” DeFalco (the writer/director of Chaos) flexing and ranting (wrestler style) about how brutal the world (and his movie) is and how much Roger Ebert sucks…in front of real dead bodies (wrapped in plastic)!”

Then, Cormier “walks us through the various crypts pointing out all sorts of stuff, like dead babies (wrapped in plastic) and dead fat people (wrapped in plastic)!”

This is followed by DeFalco and Cormier discuss their new project The Devil’s Doorway, in which their theory of how meth “opens up a doorway to another dimension allowing demons to possess these meth-heads and then these possessed speed freaks commit brutal crimes!”

Here’s the link that I found on YouTube about it. Any time I think I still can’t be stunned about movies, something amazing comes my way.

So yeah. Cormier died right around the same time as Andrew Breitbart in very much the same way.   He ingested arsenic 24 to 48 hours before his death and it’s never come out as to why.

Hey everybody! Heavy Metal Massacre!

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