I, Vampire – Trilogy of Blood (2006)

Yes, they sold this as “The Most Passionate, Desperate and Sensual of the Undead!”

When I read the description on Tubi — “Passionate and sensual members of the undead are featured in three tales of blood-thirsting immortals searching for ultimate power and eternal love.” — I realized that this was yet another Full Moon mixtape. So if you’ve already seen these movies, you’re going to be upset that they chopped them to bits. Or if you haven’t seen them, get ready to watch two hours of story somehow compressed into thirty minutes. Such is the world of producing content over art.

However, this does have Radu in it, and if I know anything, I do think Radu seems like a pretty fun hang.

“Spawn of Hell” is really Subspecies 4: Bloodstorm and you also get to see footage from Bloodstone: Subspecies II and Bloodlust: Subspecies III. If you haven’t seen any of those films, you’re probably going to be beyond lost and wondering why everyone has such wild accents. Michelle Morgan (Denice Duff, who has played the role in every film since the first sequel) has finally escaped from the dreaded Radu Vladislas and just so happens to be helped by a doctor who can cure vampirism. There’s a fifth Radu movie coming and you know, I kind of have to watch it now.

“From the Grave” is Song of the Vampire, which not only stars Denice, but was directed by her as well. It’s not a Subspecies movie — although it does use footage from the third movie — but is instead all about Jonathan, a man who became a vampire in order to find Victoria, who he thinks is his true love.

Finally, “Undead Evil” is the side story sequel to SubspeciesVampire Journals. This Ted Nicolaou film is a story with Ash as a participant — who was in the first story, so why not confuse every first-time viewer even further — and a vampire-killing vampire named Zachary who has a magic sword. They’re both all into a pianist named Sofia, who you would think would be played by Denice Duff but is Kirsten Cerre.

You can watch this on Tubi.

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