International Smorgas-Broad (1965)

Man, after a week of solid Barry Mahon movies, my eyes actually hurt. At some point, these movies were the absolute height of sin, but as seen through the haze of 2021, they could mostly play on basic cable during the day. Certainly, there is nothing in here — other than some nudity — that would shock you more than the average episode of Law and Order: SVU.

Bernie Allen, who was the comedy partner of Martha Raye for a decade and was given his stage name by Rocky Marciano — plays Bernie the chef, who spends most of the movie dreaming of the women in the film and striking out when he tries to speak with them in reality. He also spends some time imagining food from around the world, which means more women.

Gigi Darlene, who was the love statue in, well, The Love Statue, is “The German Bombshell Gigi,” while Darlene Bennett (Olga’s Girls) and her twin sister Dawn, Juliet “Aunt Peg*” Anderson, Dolores Carlos (Savages from Hell) and Louise Down, who wrote She-Devils on Wheels and Blood Feast, also show up.

I’d like to report that this movie is scandalous, but in truth, 56 years after it was made, it’s all rather boring. But in its day of camera clubs, smokers and secret showings, I’m sure that people thought they were going to hell for watching it.

*Aunt Peg became an adult movie superstar and didn’t make her first fully explicit dirty movie until she was 40. Don’t let anyone tell you you’re too old.

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