THE EXCITING EIGHTIES: Dog Day (1984)

You know what this Mill Creek box set needs? A French movie with a sixty-year-old Lee Marvin making all the French farm women all say, “Je suis excitée.” Yes, Lee’s in town, he’s got cash from a bank job gone wrong and Jessica (Miou-Miou) had the hots for him, despite you know, him robbing a bank and shooting everyone indiscriminately on the way to freedom.

If only she could get away from her husband Horace, who makes Lee look like a saint what with all his abuse, assault and hints of incest. He even causes a family member to kill herself because he keeps telling her that she’s going to an old folk’s home.

Somehow, both Juliet Mills — yes, from Beyond the Door — and Tina Louise — yes, from Gilligan’s Island — show up in this, as well as a scene where a naked woman beats Lee about the head with her breasts.

Everyone in this movie is crazy. I mean, what else can you say about a movie that ends with a kid that yells, “I’m a millionaire. We’ll go to America. You’ll wear lipstick and you’ll always be beautiful. I’ll pick out all your boyfriends. We’ll be rich. We’ll be nasty. We’ll fear nobody. We’ll be real shitheads.”

In his biography, director Yves Boisset stayed sober throughout the shooting of this film, despite his reputation of being a drunk. As soon as the movie wrapped, Marvin got wasted and beat the hell out of a cop. He felt bad and sent the guy flowers afterward. Ah, Lee. We still miss you.

You can watch this on Tubi.

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