Dear God No (2011)

So if you were ever saying to yourself, “I wish someone would make a socially undeeming biker movie that brings back the old bikerspolitation movies of the past but has no morals whatsoever,” you’re in luck. I’ve found a movie for you.

The Impalers were on a rape and murder spree when they barely escaped a battle with a rival biker club called Satan’s Own. As they run to a cabin deep in the wilds of North Georgia, their home invasion turns wrong when it turns out that the scientist whose home they’ve taken over has plenty of deep, dark secrets hidden in his basement and an even bigger one stalking the woods outside.

Director James Bickert has thrown everything into the kitchen sink for this, with Nazis, zombies, rampant nudity and tons of gore in nearly every frame. It’s not perfect, mind you — the performances are what you expect for a low budget film and the biker on civilian violence is beyond brtual, but for those that love absolute junk — and I say that as a compliment to this film — you need to get this movie between your legs.

It was followed up by the even more insane — I didn’t think it was possible — Frankenstein Created Bikers, which I found to be an even better movie that this one.

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