Gamera vs. Guiron (1969)

Gamera tai Daiakujū Giron was released in the U.S. — on TV only — as Attack of the Monsters. At this stage in the Gamera series, the special effects are starting to not feel so special and there’s even more padding than in past films. But you know, Guiron looks so awesome — he has a giant sword nose and throws shuriken from around his eyes — that I can’t help but love this movie.

Two boys find a flying saucer and are taken on an adventure into space, where Gamera magically appears and rescues them from an asteroid field. But then, they go into hyperspace and a new Gyaos appears to attack their ship. That’s when Guiron shows up and slices that beast — which just gave Gamera so much grief — into small little bits, even beheading it, which seems way too far for what is supposed to be a kiddie film.

It turns out that the Space Gyaos are all over this planet called Terra, which is on the other side of the sun. Somehow, those scientists — some of the dumbest smart people in the world are in the Gamera movies — have never found their planet.

There are also twin alien women named Barbella and Florbella who control Guiron, who eventually gets out of control and cuts their spaceship in half. Florbella then kills the injured Barbella, explaining that useless members of their society are euthanized. What is she, in charge of the stock market?

Finally, Gamera does what you’ve wanted him to do all along: he slices that monster in half. Yes, unlike Godzilla, Gamera straight up eviscerates and annihilates his foes. Gamera would just heat blast them. Nope. Gamera is like, “You’re not getting up from this one.”

You can watch this on Vudu and Amazon Prime.

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