Suffer, Little Children (1983)

A beyond low budget film made by a drama school and directed by the former owner of the Brixton Academy, Alan Briggs, this movie is strange beyond strange. Basically shot on VHS yet proclaiming that it’s based on true events, it comes off as both amateur hour and endearingly earnest. It’s a combination that more than pays off.

Elizabeth shows up at a children’s school with a note that says she’d be better off being there. That’s because she’s possessed — not to skate, but by Satan. Soon, zombies are rising from the dead and the other children are under her control.

This sounds like so many movies that I love, like Cathy’s Curse, but this movie makes it even better by having blaring heavy metal play every time Satan’s powers are used and VHS static between each and every transition.

It’s the last fifteen minutes of the movie that make it great, with the evil kids decimating the adults until Jesus Christ himself shows up to take care of business, complete with video game drones, boops and beeps.

No, I didn’t believe it either.

You have to love a movie that has its child actors writing about it on IMDB.

You can get this — of course — from Intervision and Severin.

According to Severin, “Suffer, Little Children is a reconstruction of the events, which took place at 45 Kingston Road, New Malden, Surrey, England in August 1984. None of these events were reported in the press and now the house is scheduled for demolition in the immediate future.”

You basically want this in your life right now.

Sam’s right: you need this 3/4″ spool of trashy incompetence in your life that isn’t in the least biographical and everything about pinching from Stephen King’s The Shining, as well as The Exorcist and The Omen — and probably even Amando de Ossorio 1975 rip of The Exorcist with Demon Witch Child, but with none of that film’s de Ossorioness.

All of these bad actors are from a drama school? The owner of the Brixton Academy — where The Smiths played their last gig in 1986 — made this? Stick to concert promotions and venue management. Even at 74 minutes, this is too long. And there’s the dodgy sound, the poor framing . . . and poor everything else. But hey, they tired, they made a movie . . . about Jesus showing up and killing all the devil worshiping kids. Come to think of it: didn’t Jesus show up in Giulio Paradisi’s The Visitor?

Yeah, this is SOV gold at the end of the crinkly, celluloid rainbow. Marshmallow stars, included.

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