Secret Obsession (2019)

Peter Sullivan is a writer and producer whose IMDB page is replete with TV movies with words like Christmas, The Wrong and Cheerleader in the titles. If this was 1970, he’d be making movies that’d run late at night on CBS and play at drive-ins. Today, his movies end up on Netflix.

Brenda Song plays Jennifer Williams, a woman who has just recovered from a brutal car accident, yet she can’t remember her husband Russell (Mike Vogel, who was in the 2003 remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre). You’ll guess the twist from frame one of the film, as this is no giallo or even Lifetime movie. It’s not even that good, sadly.

The one good part of the whole film is the scene where Detective Frank Page wraps a teddy bear for his daughter, only for the reveal that his daughter disappeared years ago and he has an entire room of wrapped teddy bears as he weeps gigantic tears. That makes up for the fact that every time Dennis Haysbert, who plays the role, speaks, all I can think of are his insurance commercials.

There are junk movies. And then there are movies that are painfully boring, not even good enough to be cinematic NyQuil. This would be one of those movies, a film so bad that I’m shocked that it wasn’t littering the bottom of the new release racks of sub-Asylum films at Walmart.

You can watch this on Netflix.

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