My Best Friend Is a Vampire (1987)

Jeremy Capello (Robert Sean Leonard, Dead Poets Society) is a teenager in Houston who may have the attention of the school’s hottest girl, Candy, but he really has a strange crush on band geek Darla. Dude, I get it. I would feel the same way. But he also has a vampire woman named Nora (Cecilia Peck, the daughter of Gregory) who keeps infiltrating his dreams. What is a boy to do?

It turns out that Nora is real and one fateful night, spurred on by the advice of his friend Ralph, he ends up in her bed. She bites him just as vampire hunters Professor Leopold McCarthy (David Warner!) and his assistant Grimsdyke (Paul Willson, one of the Bobs from Office Space) burst in and chase him off. I wonder if the assistant is named for Peter Cushing’s character in Tales from the Crypt?

Soon, Jeremy is a full-fledged vampire, complete with an undead guidance counselor named Modoc (René Auberjonois). He still tries to win over Darla, but between his new condition and constantly being chased by those two vampire hunters, that won’t be all that easy.

I learned from this movie that Whole Foods was big in Houston all the way back in 1987 and also had a section where vampires could buy canned pigs blood, which also comes in a light version, as well as bottled like wine.

Also, Jeremy’s parents instantly jump to the worry that he’s gay and not a vampire. They’re played by Kenneth Kimmins and Fannie Flagg. Kimmins has been on Arrested Development and Curb Your Enthusiasm, but Kimmins career has really soared after being in this movie, as she wrote the book Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe, which of course became a blockbuster film. Another actor that went on to bigger things after this film is Kathy Bates, who shows up in a bit role as Darla’s mom.

This isn’t the best vampire film you’ve ever seen, but it moves quickly and has some laughs. If you’d like to see a vampire try and eat pizza with garlic on it, it’s the movie for you. The director behind this, Jimmy Huston, who also wrote and directed the Halloween ripoff that is Final Exam (1981), got his start with drive-in purveyor Earl Owensby, with a priest on a Death Wish tear in Dark Sunday (1976).

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