Intensive Care (2018)

Three criminals are planning to rob an elderly lady, but it turns out that her caregiver is an ex-special ops agent that’s more than ready for them. Intensive Care starts with a pretty simple premise. Can it deliver?

Director Jared Bentley has come from the world of music video, documentary and reality TV, mostly working as an editor. After years of being frustrated by the process of getting funding for a feature film, he and his producing partners at Engenius Productions decided to self-finance this film instead.

Tara Macken (Sons of Anarchy and plenty of stunt work are on her resume) plays Alex, the live-in nurse who cares for Claire (Leslie Easterbrook, Sgt. Callahan from the Police Academy series and Mother Firefly from The Devil’s Rejects). Turns out that Claire’s grandson Danny needs money but Claire won’t help him any longer. So he turns to two of his pals, Seth and Rudy, to break into the house and steal her fortune while he takes Alex out for the evening.

We know those two guys are pretty ruthless because they kill a prostitute earlier in the film, but there’s no way they can match up to Alex and her special ops training. If you’re going to get a nurse when you’re old and rich and have horrible dependents, always get the one who can kill everything in her way, I guess.

Somehow, Alex agrees to go out with Danny for the evening and they end up hitting it off way better than expected and come back to the house as romance takes its natural — well, maybe unnatural in this case — turn. She wakes up with the masked Seth and Rudy taking over the house and tying her to a chair, as well as learning that Danny was behind everything.

Of course, Alex escapes, beats the hell out of them and recovers from any injuries by taking a bloody bath. As she gets dressed, she’s interrupted by Seth, who tells a story about how he was kicked out of the military. He tries to drown her in the bathtub — why she didn’t drain that gory water is beyond me — and she recovers and shuts him down.

She comes after the rest of the crew, only to be hung by her neck as Rudy tells her all about being stuck in the Delaware state prison system, the last state to still do lynchings. That’s when the cops come and they let her down — which is strange as she’s perfectly fine after this and willing to help the bad guys’ with their deception as the officer investigates and is killed. She stops them and we’re back to this cat and mouse game, but Danny can’t decide who to shoot.

There’s also a young kid that fits in somewhere in here and gets put in danger, as well as some double and triple crossing. However, storytelling wise this is where the film gets a bit confusing. And man, who knew how hard it was to hang someone?

When viewed as a vehicle for the stunt and fighting skills of Macken, this movie is more successful than it is as a narrative thriller. She’s got some pretty great moves and Intensive Care gives her plenty of moments to show them off. I just wish there was a better overall story to go with her flashy abilities.

Want to see it for yourself? Intensive Care is available on demand and on Amazon.

Disclaimer: I was sent this movie by its PR department and that has no bearing on my review.

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