Becca and I have a new rule for movie days. We have so many movies that sometimes, it takes forever for us to choose a film. That’s why we now each pick a movie and we’re not allowed to debate it. I picked Remo Williams. She picked True Crime. No one won.

Mary Giordano (Alicia Silverstone) is a Catholic high school senior whose deceased father was a cop. She loves mysteries and detective magazines (which are seriously some of the creepiest magazines out there since the Apter wrestling magazines stopped featuring apartment wrestling). Now, she’s doing her own detective work, investigating the death of a classmate’s sister.

Detective Jerry Guinn (Pittsburgh’s Bill Nunn, Radio Raheem from Do the Right Thing) is her mentor, trying to keep her away from the dark world of being a cop. However, police cadet Tony Campbell (Kevin Dillon) is too willing to bring her along as they try to find the killer.

This film feels giallo-esque in storyline, if not in tone. There are red herrings galore, plenty of sex, lots of gore, hands being hacked off, carnival freaks…it has a lot going for it. And it squanders it all at every single opportunity. This is a rough film to get through, but one that I hung on and made to the end.

I’d recommend you take whatever running time this film has and use it to better yourself. Have a great meal. Read a book. Learn how to paint. Anything but suffering through this.