Tag Archives: 2022

ATTACK OF THE KAIJU DAY: Giantess Battle Attack (2022)

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Jim Wynorski gets the assignment.

In the sequel to Attack of the 50 Foot CamGirl, Beverly Wood (Ivy Smith) is working to repay all the damage she did in the first movie. She even has a boyfriend, Mike (Brian Gross), the foreman in the quarry where she works. However, a chance to repay all of her debts comes when Anna Conda (Masuimi Max) is super-sized to fight her on a pay-per-view, with $50 million to the winner. She’s been given her powers by Brian (Steve Altman), the father of the ex-boyfriend whom Beverly killed back in that first movie.

Yes, continuity. Lisa London and Frank Cullen also return as their characters from the first movie.

But wait! Aliens get involved, as Spa-Zor (Kiersten Hall) from the planet Buxomus, a place where they’ve obviously all seen Star Trek, because they repeat dialogue from the episode “The Corbomite Maneuver.”

I do love how IMDB nerds—well, like me—leave goofs on movies. This one seems ridiculous. “While Anna Conda and Spa-Zor have their first battle, the number of times their tops are on and off keeps changing.” Come on. Do we expect this?

This is way better than you’d ever think it could be: a goofball, less than an hour giant woman as kaiju romp that recalls the softcore of the past. Is there still a market for that? Well, I watched it!

You can watch this on Tubi.

ATTACK OF THE KAIJU DAY: Attack of the 50 Foot CamGirl (2022)

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Jim Wynorski, working with writer Kent Roudebush, is still out there, making the kind of movies I’d stay up to 1 AM on a Friday for on Cinemax. Attack of the 50 Foot CamGirl places Only Fans star Beverly Wood (Ivy Smith) being rude to her boyfriend and manager, Bradley (Eli Cirino) and assistant Fuschia (Christine Nguyen) when she isn’t getting naked on camera. But ah, when she meets Dr. Rhodes (Lisa London) — and of course, has the kind of male gaze softcore Sapphic romp you’d expect with her, but let’s just enjoy things and not obsess, right? — she starts to grow into a giantess.

Bradley and Fuschia have been plotting to get rid of Beverly, but now, this messes with their plans. And if Fuschia ends up becoming a giant, giving us a girl-on-girl catfight, we won’t complain. And we don’t.

This is pretty much a winner: the ladies are attractive (and yet fun and own their hotness), Becky LeBeau even shows up and sings two songs, the humor is corny, and the sets are actually pretty good. Sure, it’s an hour-long streaming Full Moon movie, but it made me wistful for the past, a day when this movie would have definitely played on Cinemax and Showtime, when it would be on the shelves at my mom and pop video store, and I would have been too young to rent it.

You can watch it on Tubi.

ATTACK OF THE KAIJU DAY: Giantess Attack: Year Zero! (2022)

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At once a sequel to Giantess Attack vs. Mecha Fembot and a remix of the original film, this movie proved to me I’d watch anything. And I liked it, as Mark Polonia keeps showing up as a hapless military man.

Here’s how Full Moon is selling this: “Hungry for more huge honey smackdowns? Of course you are! Get ready for Full Moon’s latest lunatic release, a prequel to the just as jaw-dropping GIANTESS ATTACK VS. MECHA FEMBOT! If big boobs, butts and beastly broads are your thing, don’t miss this massive hit!”

Deidre (Tasha Tacosa) and Frida (Rachel Riley) have just been cancelled — their show was Battle Babe and Combat Queen — but soon become giant women thanks to twin space fairies called the Metalunans (Christine Nguyen). Gen. Smedley Pittsburgh (Jed Rowen) tries to stop them, which ends up with, well, Deidre basically urinating on him, which gets watersports mixed in with maxcromastia, like some masturbatory chocolate and peanut butter.

They also shove the general into their, well, you know, parts.

There’s something for everyone.

Look, it’s 51 minutes long. You can do worse.

You can watch this on Tubi.

2025 Scarecrow Psychotronic Challenge Day 13: Prey (2022)

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13. HOLLYWOODLAND BACK: Made by an indigenous filmmaker or has featured indigenous cast members.

How is this movie, directed by Dan Trachtenberg and written by Patrick Aison, the best Predator in, well, maybe ever?

The Comanche Naru (Amber Midthunder, a citizen of the Fort Peck Assiniboine and Sioux Tribe) dreams of being a warrior like her brother Taabe (Dakota Beavers). She’s a healer, and the tribe would be upset to know she’s tracking deer to improve her hunting skills. That night, she sees strange lights in the sky, just as she’s called to service, as a member of the tribe has been attacked by a cougar. In her head, she wishes she were at the party sent to hunt the beast. Soon, she forms a hunting party to fund them and is brave enough to face off with the cougar, which knocks her out. Her brother hunts it and comes back with it as a trophy.

Those lights bother our heroine, so she heads out with her dog, Saril. When her grandmother hears of whatever is out there, she believes it is Mupitsi, the mother owl of her ancestors. Her brother is taken by French traders, whose translator Captain Raphael Adolini (Bennett Taylor) is the last to be killed by the Predator (Dane DiLiegro) that is waiting in the woods.

Yes, the same Anolini whose name is on the pistol that Mike Harrigan (Danny Glover)has at the end of Predator 2.

What I love most about this movie is that its heroine is just as fierce as any of the men. She’s not a damsel to be rescued; in fact, she is one of the few who has ever bested a Predator. Sorry, I know I should call them Yautja, Hish-Qu-Ten or Skin Thieves.

Plus, it has roles for indigenous peoples like Michelle Thrush (Canadian Aborigine), Julian Black Antelope (Cree and Métis by birth, adopted by the Kainai Nation), Stormee Kip, Harlan Blayne Kytwayhat (Cree), Stefany Mathias (Squamish Nation), Skye Pelletier, Ginger Cattleman, Samiyah Crowfoot, Seanna Eggtail and Samuel Marty (Plains Cree and Nakota Stoney). According to IMDB, “The script was rewritten by two Comanche activists to ensure its depiction of Comanche culture wasn’t inaccurate or stereotypical, and the movie was praised for the results of their efforts. Among their changes, they insisted on giving every character (Comanche and French) a name in their language, even if it wasn’t stated onscreen.”

Plus, Billy Sole from Predator is a reincarnation of Taabe, and in that film, he is “reframing his last stand with that film’s Predator as being due to subconscious memories of a past life.” Trachtenburg said that as a kid, he was told that in the original, Billy “stood on a bridge over a waterfall and fought the Predator. But when I eventually saw the movie, that scene was not in it. The beginning of it is, but then it cuts away. So the seed was planted, and then I thought, ‘Wouldn’t it be awesome to have a movie that focuses on that character’s story?’ And Prey isn’t exactly that, but it is, spiritually.”

I just read a review of this on IMD, B and it said, “Not bad, except for the teeny bopper stuff.”Yes, men, sometimes you have to watch women as the hero of your movie. That said, “Naru would have an easier time proving herself before her peers as women warriors, being among the various Great Plains Nations was actually very common and would sometimes even lead other warriors into battle.”

2025 Scarecrow Psychotronic Challenge 8: The Devil Conspiracy (2022)

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8. HOLY WEDNESDAY: …And on the 8th day the Physical Media God watches a Christploitation flick.

Directed by Nathan Frankowski, written by Ed Alan, and filmed in Prague, The Devil Conspiracy is wild because it attempts to be both an action movie and a religious film, but ultimately becomes over-the-top with CGI, leaving the viewer blown away, as it’s unclear who this is for.

It’s for me.

Back in the days when angels fought in Heaven, St. Michael chained Lucifer in Hell. Now, a biotech company steals the Shroud of Turin in order to clone Lucifer. Their army kills Father Marconi (Joe Doyle), whose body is soon taken over by St. Michael in order to stop the end of the world from happening. Their plan is to find fallen women and use them to have a baby that the devil will possess, all while fallen angels teach St. Michael how to stop this, all while protecting Laura (Alice Orr-Ewing), the mother of the soon-to-be devil baby.

The main bad girl’s name?

Liz (Eveline Hall).

Yes, this movie is absolutely ridiculous in all the best of ways, and I wish they’d make so many more in a series of these films. Get this: Only the infant Christ could stand to be possessed by Lucifer, unlike weak humans who burn out when filled with the dark one. They’ve also created clones of Vivaldi and Michelangelo, which they auction off, and we simply ignore that this is happening because, in the grand scheme of this plot, it’s such a small thing in the face of the end times of all that is.

Also: Laura drinks an entire jug of bleach and lives.

Common Sense Media said: “Parents need to know that The Devil Conspiracy is a graphic fantasy/horror/thriller about a plot by devil worshippers to create a new baby Jesus and bring hell to Earth. Violence is intense and often bloody. There’s lots of fighting, shooting, beheading, slicing, stabbing, bloody wounds, jump scares, demons, other scary stuff, and more. Sporadic strong language includes uses of “f–k,” “motherf—-r,” “s–t,” “bitch,” “goddamn,” “whore,” etc. There’s some brief, inappropriate flirting, a woman wears fishnet stockings, and a childbirth scene is depicted. It’s preposterous and poorly made, but some viewers may be entertained in a “so bad it’s good” kind of way.”

Their review reads like a Joe Bob Drive-In Total: “Women are kidnapped and roughly handled; they’re shown panicking and terrified. One woman is physically violated (a fertilized egg is forcibly inserted into her uterus). Brief, strong images of children in peril. Severed head, beheadings. The head is split in half. Lots of dead bodies. Someone is stabbed. Guns and shooting; one person is shot in the head, with blood spatter. Bloody wounds. Choking, gasping. Character shoots a bird in a tree. Fighting. Head-slamming. Body-slamming. Head-butting. Face-stomping, with strong gore. Vomiting on someone’s face. People are attacking guards with homemade weapons. Demon chained by the neck. Jump-scares. Brief scary/creepy stuff. Scary dream about a demon baby. Character drinks bleach, with screaming, vomiting. Explosions. Violence depicted in paintings, artworks. Mention of rape.”

You can watch this on Tubi.

Sizzlin’ Summer of Side-Splitters 2025: Smoking Causes Coughing (2022)

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Sept 1-7 John Waters Best of the Year Week: To be fair, these movies aren’t ALL funny, but JOHN WATERS is funny. He’s become more of a writer and public commentator these days. Still, he helps keep the arthouse from taking itself too seriously with his annual top-ten lists, while celebrating the comically serious.

Tobacco Force — Benzene (Gilles Lellouche), Mathanol (Vincent Lacoste), Nicotine (Anaïs Demoustier), Mercure (Jean-Pascal Zadi as Mercure and Ammoniaque (Oulaya Amamra) — have just blown a giant turtle to pieces with their cancer attack, covering themselves with gore, when they get a call from their commander, Chief Didier (Alain Chabat), who is pretty much a rat. He wants them to go to a retreat for a week to improve their teamwork, because Lézardin (Benoit Poelvoorde) is coming to take over the planet.

So yes — a sentai show about a team who uses the powers of tobacco to destroy evil, even having a robot — Norbert 500 — who drives their van and helps them clean themselves off when they get messy.

As they bond, the team tells stories to one another, such as a woman whose thinking helmet turns her into a slasher or what happens when a man gets his foot stuck in a wood chipper. None of these stories have an ending and neither does this movie, as a new robot — Norbert 1200, sent to replace the suicidal Norbert 500 — arrives to help them defeat Lézardin. While waiting for the robot to start a program, Chief Didier keeps calling to tell them that the issue has resolved itself, as the bad guy’s family has killed him. There’s also a talking barracuda who gets grilled.

This was directed, written, shot and edited by Quentin Dupieux, who also made Rubber. It’s delightful, just a weird movie that hangs out with you, always changing until the end.

John Waters said, “Can a movie be both stupid and effete yet unironic? Only the French can pull that off, and this moronic auteur of ignoramuses does it again. Brilliant performances and dumbbell dialogue equal a superhero movie for idiots that surpasses all the tedium of Hollywood blockbusters.”

THIRD WINDOW BLU RAY RELEASE: New Religion (2022)

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New Religion (2022): Miyabi (Kaho Seto) has lost her daughter when she falls from the balcony, which puts her in a dark place, working as an escort in a basement somewhere with two other women. Sure, she has a new guy, but one of her co-workers — Aiwaza (Daiki Nunami) — loses her mind and kills a whole bunch of people with a knife.

One of Aiwaza’s prize clients — Oka (Satoshi Oka) — now needs someone to take care of his needs, so Miyabi takes over. His needs? He takes photos of women, slowly, strangely and in ways that make them feel like they’re being dissected. Yes, that’s strange. But what’s weird is that his house is either always pitch black or blindingly red. Strange enough? What if he had no vocal cords and now spoke through the sound system of his home at body-rattling volume? And what if, with each photo that Oka takes, Miyabi gets closer to seeing her dead daughter?

Also, none of this could be happening. Or all of it.

Directed and written by Keishi Kondo, this is not a movie to go into hoping for a straight-up horror film. But for those willing to journey toward its heart of darkness, there’s something strange and wonderful here.

Neu Mirrors (2025): “Neu Mirrors is a spin-off short film that attempts to answer certain unanswered questions of I and begins just after a scene in the previous film.”

Aizawa wakes up in a strange hotel room as a voice calls him from his earphone. Aizawa notices a man in a white shirt in the room with a photo book at his feet. There are the faces of many strangers and his own face printed on it.

Things don’t get any less weird from there.

This film takes on blue instead of red as its primary color. I love that it can be seen as an expansion or meditation on the past film or entirely on its own. Either way, director and writer Keishi Kondo is a force that creates otherworldly art.

Extras include an interview with the director, behind-the-scenes footage, outtakes, audio commentary on the film, an early concept version of the movie, a crowdfunding teaser, a trailer, an international trailer and a slipcase and reversible sleeves with original artwork for both films. You can buy this from Terra Cotta.

MILL CREEK BOX SET RELEASE: Documentary Now! (2015-2022)

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Whether you believe that this is a series in its fiftieth season or a mockumentary show created by Fred Armisen, Bill Hader, Seth Meyers, and Rhys Thomas, you just have to watch it. Through four seasons, all hosted by Helen Mirren, you will meet the sisters who live in “Sandy Passage,” which is totally Grey Gardens; experience the VICE-sorta “DRONEZ: The Hunt for El Chingon,” the Errol Morris parody “The Eye Doesn’t Lie,” “Gentle & Soft: The Story of the Blue Jean Committee, Parts 1 & 2,” which reminds me of how Hader is obsessed with how Eagles play soft music yet swear and tried to kill one another at times; “Final Transmission,” which somehow gets in a Talking Heads, The Band and Tom Waits parody all at the same time; a Robert Evans parody; a pisstake on Marina Abramović; a multi-Herzog doc; dodgeball with rocks and so much more.

In the book that comes with the box set, Armisen said, “I remember hoping that someone somewhere would find this show way in the future, without context, and then take it seriously.”

That’s why it works so well.

Plus, you get contributions by John Mulaney, Tim Robinson, Mike O’Brien, Cameron Crowe, Chuck Klosterman, Peter Bogdanovich, Faye Dunaway, Mia Farrow, Peter Fonda, Anne Hathaway, Owen Wilson, Michael Keaton, Cate Blanchett, Mr. Brainwash, Alexander Skarsgard, Tom Jones and so, so many more people. It’s really something how rich this show was and how high the quality stayed for all four seasons. It’s something like SCTV and Mr. Show that I will keep coming back to.

That’s why I’m so excited that this box set has come out. There are so many jokes and moments that you need to just keep watching these shows and they demand more than just one viewing. This is as perfect as comedy gets these days.

The Mill Creek box set of Documentary Now! has 2 hours of bonus features, including an IFC Emmy panel discussion, behind the scenes footage, deleted scenes, trailers and promos. It also comes with a 28 page book and 8 mini posters. You can get it from Deep Discount.

Sizzlin’ Summer of Side-Splitters 2025: Catnado (2022)

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June 23-29 Cat Week: Cats! They’re earth’s funniest creatures (sorry chimps, you’re psychos).

Why did I watch this? Well, look at the directors and you can pick out the ones I would be obsessed by: Curtis Everitt, Donald Farmer, Alaine Huntington, Blair Kelly, James M. Myers, Melvin Pittman, Tim Ritter, Jerry Williams and Logan Winton.

That’s right, Farmer and Ritter.

I mean, even on the line that describes it on IMDB, it doesn’t even make the effort: It’s like Sharknado, but with cats.

It’s also an anthology as so much microbudget horror seems to be these days. I mean, cats do abuse a priest in it, so there’s that. I imagine there;s a YouTube category for that. I do have a weakness for stuff like this, usually if it has a Ouija board or is in Amityville or has a shark, but I’m trying to do this cat movie challenge and how many Garfield movies can one man watch?

I expected nothing from this and was awarded in abundence.

The cover looks nice, the actual cartoon isn’t all that horrible, and cats are always fun to watch. There, I’ve said a few nice things. At least everyone got paid.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Hotel Underground (2021)

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I have a friend who loves James Storm so much that whenever someone complains, he always sends them a picture of him that says, “Sorry about your damn luck.” Even people in our friend group who have no idea who he is—a star for TNA Wrestling for some time—love him now.

In this, Storm plays former world champion Tommy Majic, who someone wants to see fight again, so they kidnap his wife Cindy (Tracey Birdsall). There’s also Suzi (Finnish rock star and stuntwoman Jessica Wolff), who was planning on a marriage of convenience to a rich man, breaking the heart of her fiancé, before men kidnap them and her friend from Japan, who has come to see her get married, Akira Fujiyama (Kaori Kawabuchi). They’re all now in Hotel Underground — they even kidnapped her mom (Christa Billich) — a place that is both an underground fight club and also a place where a man named Dr. Butcher (Big Bad Ralph) cuts people up and also pops out as if he were a character in a dark ride. Oh — there’s also Debi (Australian rock star and pro wrestler Nicole Sharrock), who wants to kill men who abuse women.

This is a movie made with plenty of pro wrestlers and stuntpeople, like Jessica Wolf and Erika Reid. Director Steve Ravic has worked with the same crew — and many of the same actors — on several of his films. In this, he’s making something with flashbacks, weird color patterns and layered edits. It’s kind of wild and also feels like it could have been a VCA movie from the 80s, quality-wise, just without sex. There are so many stories going on, sometimes all at once, but this isn’t something you see on streaming and think it will be the finest in cinema. Enjoy it for what it is — an underground fight club populated by pro wrestlers with issues. I feel like I have lived this.

You can watch this on Tubi.