Originally shot in 3D for the Sterling’s Ultimate 3D Heaven, this Jeff Leroy-directed opus spent years in limbo before being rescued from the digital ether by Visual Vengeance. It’s exactly the kind of unhinged, DIY spectacle the label was built for.

It has everything you want in a movie, and by that, I mean effects Leroy-style, male genital mutilation and nearly constant nude scenes.

And if you don’t want that, why are you even here?

The carnage kicks off in a stylized 1950s prologue. We meet Eva (Nicole Laino) and her husband Ward (Robert Rhine), a couple who make the fatal mistake of playing Good Samaritan to a seemingly ill woman (Kelly Erin Decker). That woman is a vampire — yes, that’s how we get to the sorority — and the ensuing chaos leaves Ward dead and Eva infected. In a moment of grisly desperation, witnessed by her young daughter, Eva is forced to feast on her own husband’s remains to survive. 

Fast-forward to the present day, and get ready to meet a full-blown sorority of the damned. Annabel (Missy Martinez) and Scarlet (Jacqueline Fae) are the veteran sisters who spend their nights luring unsuspecting men back to their lair, where they drain them.

Their blood. Not their balls. Come on, people. 

Eva, now the matriarch, is hunting for the “chosen one” among her new pledges. Enter Holly (Alejandra Morin) and Lilith (Antoinette Mia Pettis). Holly possesses a rare blood type that promises an evolutionary leap for the vampire race, but the rank-and-file sorority girls have more… immediate interests like using the electric spark of a dying man’s soul as a metaphysical masturbatory aid. 

This was shot for 3D, so in addition to the Leroy effects you hoped for, there are also moments where the stakes come right at the camera. It’s really magical.

You can watch this on Amazon Prime and Fawesome.

Todd Sheets doesn’t just make movies; he stages low-budget massacres. While most directors would let a microscopic budget limit their scope, Sheets treats his lack of funds like an invitation to see how much corn syrup and latex he can cram into a single frame. He knows how to make things loud, bloody, and gross, a holy trinity of exploitation that deserves to be etched into the skin of every SOV devotee.

A vicious new street drug called Rapture is flooding New York Cit  and Jack (Mark Glover) is the cop on the case. But the Breeders gang isn’t human. No, they’re demons, cooking up something infernal for the streets, as well as giving birth to the Antichrist. But if Jack can get the young girl who has been impregnanted with the demon child baptized — by Pastor Williams, played by Rudy Ray Moore! — the world can be saved. Also: there’s relationship drama, as Jack’s ex-wife isn’t just sleeping with a drug-dealing demon, she won’t let our cop hero see their daughter Amy (Rebecca Rose). And, of course, strip clubs, demonic gangbangers and cowboys, angels fighting demons, maggots inside heads, worms inside bodies, even more gore galore and plenty of riffs. There’s also a demon who Xtro-style emerges from a woman as a full-grown man. There’s also a switchout of heroes at some point, as Steve (Nick Stodden) meets up with Amy to get this case solved.

Kansas City, Missouri isn’t NYC, but you wouldn’t know it. Sheets has a vision here and delivers with big crowds mixing it up with the in-your-face viscera. This has my highest recommendation.

Fistful of the Undead (2014): If Violent New Breed is the main course of glorious filth, Fistful of the Undead is the shot of cheap tequila you take right before the bar fight starts. Included as a standout extra on the Visual Vengeance release, this short is Todd Sheets stripping his style down to its most primal, lizard-brain essentials.

If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if Sergio Leone lost his mind, got on a plane and started filming in a Kansas sCity laughterhouse, this is it. Fistful of the Undead is a micro-budget love letter to the Spaghetti Western, but instead of staring contests and Morricone scores, we get high-velocity splatter and a total disregard for human anatomy, including no small amount of intestines being stretched out as if this were a tug of war or a taffy pull covered with goopy blood.

You should read that as “This is a great short that you totally need to watch.” Not much else happens, but why should it?

This is a new director-approved, remastered SD master version from original tape elements with the plternate original DVD version, an alternate R-rated version as aired on The Movie Channel and an alternate original VHS release version. There are three commentary tracks, interviews, behind the scenes docs, the Q&A from the Nitehawk Cinema showing, news coverage, uncut sequences, a booklet with liner notes by Tony Strauss of Weng’s Chop Magazine, Visual Vengeance trailers, a reversible sleeve featuring original VHS art, a folded mini-poster of original Ghana art by Heavy J, a Ghana poster by legend Heavy J and a birth announcement vintage reproduction. This has 12 hours of extras, so why are you reading this? Buy it now from MVD.

Arturo (Sebastián Badilla, who directed this with his brother Gonzalo) has been waiting to ask María Elena (Trinidad de La Noi) on a date, but he’s waited too long, and now she’s with a magician, Tatán (Nicolás Luisetti). He decides to make her jealous and starts dating Beatriz (Raquel Calderón), the most popular girl in town.

But then there’s a giallo killer who takes out their teacher, Marión (Diana Bolocco), and starts to kill students. Can Arturo and Beatriz find love and live long enough to enjoy it?

At some point, Arturo gets María Elena to watch Tenebrae. There’s also a killer who looks exactly like the murderer in Blood and Black Lace. Each character also gets photos of other movies in their credits; it looks like someone cut and pasted these from Google Images. That said, there’s a bullet through the door like Opera, a crystal bird and J&B. 

This movie was so badly reviewed and did so poorly that the brothers left Chile. There was also a big deal when the cast performed the song that inspired this movie — by the band Supernova — and people beyond upset.

You can watch this on Tubi.

This is not a movie about cocktails or handjobs. Yes, I refer to handjobs as old-fashioned.

Anyway, this is a religious movie about dating.

Clay Walsh (Rik Swartzwelder) is an antique shop owner who also restores furniture. He rents a room above his place to Amber (Elizabeth Ann Roberts), who is a bit weirded out by the fact that Clay won’t be in the same room with her. Well, he’s made a vow not to be alone with a woman who isn’t his wife. But he will come up to fix things, so she starts breaking stuff to get to talk to him.

As they get to know one another, we learn that Clay used to shoot, well, exploitation porn of girls like Girls Gone Wild, which is stranger than Amber’s checkered dating past. That’s why he hasn’t dated anyone and has devoted himself to crafts. 

So yeah, they held this movie for a year so it could release in the same theaters as 50 Shades of Grey.

Also: Directed, written and produced by Swartzwelder, and you know, vanity may be a sign, but it’s my favorite.

That said, this is not like most faith movies. No one religious is under attack. Instead, it’s two people trying to find their way in a world that can be very upsetting. I actually liked this.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Directed and written by Corbin Bernsen, this is based on the website of the same name, which has “60% brand awareness among U.S. dating service users, with 17% indicating they had used the platform.”

Gwyneth Hayden (Lacey Chabert) works in advertising, so we know she’s Godless. But after seeing an ad for the dating site for the devoted, she buys The Bible for Dummies and Christianity for Dummies, then starts seeing Paul Wood (Jonathan Patrick Moore), a believer whose entire family — which includes Morgan Fairchild and David Keith as mom and dad — is super involved in the church. They surprise her by telling her they are going on mission work, and she comes along, only for her cheat books to be found. Not everyone understands the concept of forgiveness, and she goes back home, where she decides she wants to be a Christian, even if she won’t see Paul.

Paul spent no time mourning, as he’s already dating childhood friend Kelly (Jill Saunders), despite seeing the work that Gwyneth has done. This being a romcom, of course, they get together.

Bernsen shows up as Matt, the guy who fixes our heroine’s bike. In his shop, he’s watching The Young and the Restless, and that’s Bernsen’s late mother, Jeanne Cooper, in the scene he’s checking out.

Also, this feels like IMDBS: “Corey Feldman, who was Lacey Chabert’s spiritual advisor at the time, pleaded with her not to do this movie, and do The Lost Tree instead. She ended up doing both.” I say BS, as the The Lost Tree trivia says: “Corey Feldman, who was Lacey Chabert’s spiritual advisor at the time, pleaded with her not to do this movie, and do Christian Mingle instead. She ended up doing both.”

The Common Sense Media notes for this movie are excellent: “I only joined to rate this Christian Mingle movie. I am a 71 year old woman. I watched the entire movie only because I was waiting to see if either the young man or his mother would get their “comeupance” for their judgmental attitudes. Yes, the young Lady may have “lied” as she tried to fill the requirements that the arrogant, judgy mother had instilled in her precious boy. And the fact that he could not stand up to “Mommy”, but had no trouble telling the young lady all of her “sins”! Then he leaves his wife and baby. Some Christian. And Lacy jumps into his arms. I would not want my Grandchildren to even see this movie.”

Also: John O’Hurley’s character is dealing with baldness, so he wears a captain’s hat.

You can watch this on Tubi.

“When workaholic Ty Bounds retires after 35 years as a computer programmer, he seeks ways to spend his time serving God. Following the Holy Spirit’s lead, he returns to college to wage war against secular humanism and mentor a new generation in truth-seeking.”

There’s no way I wasn’t watching this. 

Gramps, or Ty, is played by this film’s writer, Donald James Parker. His returning to school as an untraditional student is seen as an aberration. But Ty isn’t going to school to learn. He’s going to teach, which means sitting in biology class and calling everyone out for speaking about evolution. This causes Professor Tucker (Carol Anderson) to keep asking him out and even sexually assault him at one point. 

Ty fucks, but Ty doesn’t fuck, as the kids say.

Ty is very realistic. Every old right-wing religious person I know is always looking for an opportunity to start talking about what’s wrong, even if they’re in charge and, as old white men, rule the world already. At one point, during a chess match, Ty goes off about fluoride in the drinking water, which he says causes cancer and fibromyalgia. No one asked Ty. They are playing chess.

Ty also has a roommate named Brad (Rusty Martin), who starts dating a lapsed Christian who loves to drink. She does what a few kids do every year at CMU and the major colleges in Pittsburgh. She drinks so much — 20 shots of Everclear, if we’re to believe this movie — that she dies. That’s because kids like this didn’t drink in the woods, running from cops. Drinking seems cool, right? Not where I grew up, as you run through mud and water while searchlights are all over you, and you want to puke, but you can’t get caught. If you can stay that aware, you never drink yourself to death. You just became a lifelong alcoholic. 

They then bring her back to life.

As Gramps says, “I used to think that universities were meant to teach us how to think, but I’m beginning to realize that they’re trying to teach us what to think.” 

This movie hits too hard; it’s too much like what the world would become in the decade after its release: a nation of Gramps who have all done their own research. Then, the academic bastards kick Gramps out of school, and he surmises, “I guess the devil didn’t want me here.”

Oh Lord, why have you deserted me? I just learned that this is a sequel to another movie, In Gramps’ Shoes. 

Now I have to watch that.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Solara (Kul Sarai), Tansy (Toria Pardoe) and Cala (Hannah Robson) are space princesses who have their future thrones taken from them when their stepmother, Voluptina (Caroline Vella), sends them through a black hole and into the past, where she hopes they’ll be eaten by dinosaurs.

This is just an hour, and everyone stays in bikinis. Also, because this is British, they’re really pale — I love that — so if you’re expecting tanned American ladies battling giant monsters, well…no… no. I watched this because I thought it would be suitable for one of my kaiju day movies, yet this didn’t even have great monsters.

Like I said, it’s an hour.

You can watch this on Tubi.