Sizzlin’ Summer of Subterranean Psychotronica 2026: Templar Nation (2013)

Week 3 (July 5 – 11) – Maverick Entertainment Group

One of the most overlooked and consistent low-budget film companies of the 21st century, they’ve been full steam ahead in the streaming era while other indies have cratered. From the Maverick Entertainment Group website:

Founded in 1997, Maverick continues to be a leading distributor and producer of niche independent and Black Cinema content. Having released more than 1,300 films over the past 26 years, Maverick currently distributes the world’s largest library of feature-length Black Cinema.

If you’re watching Templar Nation expecting a National Treasure-style romp, don’t be mad when it’s over. After all, the first hour of this movie is essentially a series of fireside chats. Our hero is an unlikable archaeology professor—played by the film’s own executive producer, Richard Dutcher—who has a massive chip on his shoulder and a preoccupation with daddy issues. His character introduction is a masterclass in unintentional comedy, featuring him schooling video game nerds on the art of swordsmanship before heading out to mishandle a 700-year-old blade.

For a long stretch, the film is just people sitting down and discussing Templar myths. I want nothing more than for people to be awake in the middle of the night and willing to discuss the Templars and Bernie Mac being cloned, but I get that this isn’t for everyone. But don’t worry. The movie eventually gets rolling as we get wild exposition from amysterious nativecharacter—a Native American magic man who loves the white man, a movie staple since we stopped killing Injuns on screen—who explains that the Templars teamed up with the Anasazi, followed by some Indiana Jones cosplay.

Our heroes end up in the Cave of CGI, solving puzzles in front of a green screen, and it all ends in a fight scene where the good-guy Templar declares the Catholic Church a whore. The real reason to watch Templar Nation is the absolutely unhinged final twist. It turns out that the Templars have been running America from a bunker in the Southwest all along—and according to this film, this is good news. 

The next few moments are an illustration of what it’s like to sit with me and hear me speak for real: We learn that Christopher Columbus was actually a Templar agent bringing freedom from the Pope’s oppression to the New World. The entire movie, it turns out, was just an initiation test for our heroes. The closing shot? A Templar-controlled puppet running for political office while everyone smiles at the television news. 

Also: Erik Estrada is in this movie.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Leave a comment