ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Jennifer Upton is an American (non-werewolf) writer/editor in London. You can listen to her podcast at https://thecinemajunction.com. 

Her latest book is Japanese Cult Cinema: Best of the Second Golden Age. She writes for Horror & Sons and Drive-in Asylum. She has also appeared on the podcasts Japan on Film, Making Tarantino, Making Scorsese, The Rad Revivalhouse and contributes to Cinemaforce. For links to her work, please visit https://www.jennuptonwriter.com or follow her on Instagram @jennxlondon. 

April 8: Zoo Lover’s Day — You know what that means. Animal attack films!

The artwork on the VHS cover for this hard-to-find early ‘80s thriller promises a vicious ghost monster dog. First, we get a better-than-average look at the horrors of renting a room in a shared house in the middle of the woods in Texas. 

The movie begins with the handsome Ken moving into the old stone manor and getting to know the other six tenants. Mitch Pileggi (The X-Files) plays Woody, the roommate from Hell. A “macho” guy in the attic room who delights in bullying the others and playing practical jokes. What an asshole. I would most definitely put cayenne pepper on his doorknob if I lived in this house. 

Then there’s Eisenhower or “Ike.” A war-obsessed whiny postal worker with a vicious dog who looks like a young Howard Stern. Ike is carrying a torch for Sharon – one of two unfortunate women who live in the house. We also have Jerry. A nice, young guy who indexes books for a living. The most horrifying job in all of publishing.  Jerry is terrified of dogs, having been bit by one as a child. He’s nervous and prone to nightmares so naturally, he’s the first character to sense when something supernatural is going on. Of course, no one believes him. 

Woody shoots Ike’s dog when it bites someone. He later digs it up and puts in Ken’s bed as a practical joke when Sharon starts giving Ken attention. 

The joke goes awry and Ken is accidentally electrocuted by an old lamp introduced as a clear health and safety violation in the first scene. 

The next night, Woody’s new puppy is disemboweled by an invisible growling entity. It also kills Ike. 

When a detective comes to take statements, Landlord Aldo Ray bursts through the door in all his Aldo glory demanding to know “What have these people done this time?” Ray’s commitment to playing his character with utter contempt toward his tenants is part of the reason why I enjoyed this movie immensely. 

We’ve all had a slumlord like this, right? The kind that doesn’t replace faulty lamps and then gets pissed off when people get electrocuted because, “It’ll give me a bad name!” Later, he bursts out of the bushes with a flashlight under his face at 4:30 am and summarily evicts everyone with no paperwork. No notice? “My shotgun’s all the notice I need!” I seriously love watching older actors portraying grumpy characters later in their careers. Ray Milland, are you listening? Aldo is giving you a run for your money in this film. 

The finale features a nice twist ending where there’s no ghost dog at all. It’s Jerry who turns out to be the worst kind of roommate a person can possibly have. He’s not a werewolf. He’s a feral maniac. Aldo dispatches Jerry with his boomstick, saves Sharon and the credits roll. Landlord Aldo was right. All he needed was his shotgun. We should have listened. 

There’s very little gore here. The movie functions best when it’s simply showing us the characters interact. All the actors are fully onboard with this movie. It’s a shame Robert A. Burns didn’t write or direct another feature-length project. Its dark, dry humor struck the perfect tone. Fingers crossed a boutique label puts this one out someday! 

You can watch it here, complete with a set of great trailers from the original VHS: https://www.facebook.com/TCSMFilmLocations/videos/robert-a-burns-mongrel-1982/1647824725372338/