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Steve asked me to get to this movie and described it this way: “It’s everything that was bad about Australian movies from that period. Characters turned up to 11, and accents that were what a private school boy thought “real” Australiana sounded like. The fact that the lead thought he was going to be a global superstar makes it all the more perplexing.”

World famous hair metal impresario and eco-warrior Black Alice (Rob Hartley, who was also in a short that inspired this movie called Knightmare (co-directed by Yahoo Serious!), using the name Black Alice; that’s also the name of the band, which had Hartley on vocals, Jamie Page playing guitar, Vince Linardi on bass and Joe Demasi playing the drums. They released the album Endangered Species before breaking up, but reformed for this movie with Andy Cichon on bass, Scott Johnson on drums, Paul Radcliffe on keyboards and guitar, and Hartley and Page. They have been imprisoned in a stasis hologram by the dictatorial leaders of OCEANA, a corporate entity that now owns Australia. 

After the death of a lover, Black Alice is trapped in endless slumber until Alice is accidentally freed 113 years later. He finds a wasteland where Sydney was vaporized after the peace ferry he was supposed to be on collided with the nuclear sub. Now, he must travel backward in time to fix everything. He is aided by two barbarian warriors, X and J, and a sentient motorcycle called The Shine. He has only 10 hours before his physical body decomposes into smegma.

You may hate every minute of this, but it’s a movie where nearly everyone is wearing face paint. One that starts with a cover of Thunderclap Newman’s “Something In The Air” and ends up being a musical. I have an absurd weakness for the late 80s world of post-apocalyptic visions, kind of like Road Warrior by way of Italy by way of Rinse Dream. It doesn’t hurt that Black Alice sounds like Bowie by way of sleazy late 80s glam metal. Just imagine if bands like D.A.D., Zodiac Mindwarp or the Dogs D’Amour got to make a film of their own! Throw in some ancient CGI, sword and sorcery moments and attractive women in lab coats, and you have a movie!

Director and writer Gary Keady co-produced Black Alice’s Endangered Species album with Steve James (not the action film actor), and it was originally released in the UK before coming out in Australia. According to the Encyclopedia of Australian Rock and Pop, the band indulged in “…the world of sword and sorcery with tracks like ‘Blade of Slaughter,” “In the Hall of the Ancient Kings” and “Man of Metal” (an ode to bushranger Ned Kelly).

Keady even wrote a review of the film on IMDb: “I’m probably biased as I wrote and directed the film. It had its moments. It was a hard film to make. I had to rewrite the original script only six weeks prior to principal photography due to budgetary changes. In a lot of ways the film paid the price for being a first in Australia. It was the first film to be shot employing digital live sync sound and thus pathed the way for others. Sons of Steel was shot at night, at times a mile or more underground Sydney in World War II bunkers (Gen. McArthur’s). It was a tough eight week shoot and in retrospect an difficult task for a first time director. I’m proud of what we tried to do with as little funding as we had. We put a lot of quality up on the screen. Those who I was fortunate enough to work with gave the film a first class look and me first class experience. Some find the story hard to follow, and that would be because so much of it wasn’t shot because of bad scheduling, and plenty ended up on the edit floor for one reason or another. I’m sure that’s generally taken as a directors excuse for a flawed film, perhaps so, but then again maybe I’m right. I did live through the experience of not only writing it a number of times but raising the finance, writing much of the music, directing it and selling it around the world. And for that experience I am eternally thankful.. I hope I can improve with the next picture, and I hope those who see Sons of Steel are entertained enough to appreciate it and perhaps look out for my next film.”

This is a cult movie without a cult, and I’d like to change that! Sure, it doesn’t really have a likeable lead character, but when has that ever stopped us before? Virtually every character looks like they’re auditioning for a glam metal band or a Mad Max reboot, including the corporate drones. It also has a lizard monster named The Freak, with the biggest lizard cock you’ve ever seen. Sure, the acting isn’t all that great, but there’s so much fog that Lucio Fulci was like, “Ha bisogno di tutta questa nebbia?”

You can get this from Vinegar Syndrome or watch it on YouTube.