The Church of Mortavia needs cash, so Father Guru does what he can, which means getting dead bodies for medical students to experiment on. This may mean stabbing churchgoers in the eyeball or working with vampires and hunchbacks. And while this is supposedly set in the Middle Ages, it was actually shot at New York City’s St. Peter’s Church, which means you may just hear the sounds of modern traffic.

Shot for $11,000, this is yet another Milligan film, in which the director wrote, directed, built sets, and sewed costumes for a cast of mainly off-off-Broadway actors and Staten Island locals. How else would you populate a prison colony of Catholic sinners who were all waiting to be served sentences that are all being wiped out by an insane priest?

This was made as part of a double bill with another of Milligan’s movies, The Body Beneath. It’s around 55 minutes long and has some gore, but in no way does it have as inventive a title as Milligan’s best-named film, The Rats are Coming! The Werewolves are Here!

Milligan is a fascinating character study, probably more so than his films, to be perfectly honest. He was considered one of the worst directors of all time until his movie Fleshpot on 42nd Street was rediscovered by Something Weird Video, and his theatrical efforts were unearthed. In some strange universe, his work as a queer filmmaker found a better audience than maniacs like me who watched his movies like The Ghastly Ones.

Frantic Friar

• 1.5 oz. Frangelico
• .75 oz. lemon juice
• .75 oz. lime juice
• Maraschino cherry

1. Pour Frangelico and juices into a shaker with ice.
2. Scream at it like you’re in an Andy Milligan movie while shaking, then pour it into a glass and top with a cherry.